I’m almost 16 and live in Germany but come from England. After my dad gave up on me and choose his girlfriend over me(he did really give up on me but more or less) i was in a clinic for mentally unstable children and teenagers after that I came in a residential home and that wasn’t that bad until I was raped multiple times and could tell the people how I look after me because it was too much but then eventually did after I went through all that and managed to continue my life I got taken away from there a came into a foster home what was a lot better until I got through out of school and had absolutely nothing to do and fell into a deep depression and I’m still am I’m definitely suicidal but probably won’t do it but my foster carer doesn’t care A bit about me and doesn’t notice in what State I’m in please give me advice on how to get though this
Suicidal ideation and the fact that you yourself stated that you are "definitely suicidal" are very serious signs. I doubt many people who use this site have enough experience and competences to help. Have you tried to contact a mental health professional? There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
I would advise you to contact International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) in your country or a nearby one. They are available under the following link:http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
They are very experienced with suicide prevention and their services are offically supported by the owners of this website.
Ask for help. Write down how you feel. I'm sorry you had to go through this but i promise it will get better. I wish i had more ways of helping you and to make you feel better but i do honestly hope it gets better for you. Try to be positive and move past what you went through and remember that your past does not define who you are as a person.