I’m giving up

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I’m 12 years old and I’m a bit of a loner. I feel like people are my friends only because of who my dad is (a very popular scholar). I recently started cutting and I always feel like its my fault because everyone in my family releases their anger and frustration on me. I have this empty feeling inside and even when I laugh I feel it aching. I can’t get my homework done and I’ve lost internist in the things that I used to be obsessed with. My parents get all angry and say its puberty and that there are kids out there with no food or parents. Its kind of hard to believe that they care about me when my mom keeps on calling me a failure and a disappointment. She keeps on saying how she wants God to take me away (die). And when you hear the same thing over and over again, you tend to believe it. I’m getting suicidal thoughts like “We’re all going to die, it doesn’t matter if its tomorrow or in 70 years. There is no escape in death. I might as well do it.” Help. :’(

Category: asked October 14, 2015

3 Answers

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Hi. There are a few things I need you to know before you feel like harming yourself. First of all, I'm so glad you decided to reach out for help, it shows that there are people who can help you. Second of all, you are experiencing a serious problem. It's not a joke, it's important, and you're important too. There are people who are better suited to help you with this, I need you to talk to them immediately. If you have a phone you can use, call or text 741-741. Your life and safety matters, please please protect it.
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Don't give up. Your life matters! Try to talk with your parents, tell them that doing what they're doing it's hurting you it's making you sad, tell them that they're supposed to protect and support you. If they're not able to understand it try to find something or someone you care about. I know it's difficult to like something/someone when you only feel numb. Try your hard to show all those people they were wrong about you. Focus on some activity usually helps. Try a sport, or writing, something you can focus on and externalize your feelings.
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Hi, my parents were like yours and it's a horrible experience. There is a better solution than suicide. Life will get better as time passes. There will come a time when you will be free of this. You will come out of this stronger. In the mean time try and find someone to talk to, if your school has a teacher or counsellor you can talk to. There are support organisations. You don't have to deal with this alone. There are many people who care about you. I wrote a journal and kept it at school and found that helpful.