I have had a history of sexual assault and abuse since the age of about 6-7, which led me to believe in my teenage years that sex was a normal thing and that I was required to sleep with every male who tried with me or I would be hurt or judged or really anything negative would happen to me. I did not realise I was being abused, because i always thought that I was in the wrong for not forcing these people off me, that I was just simply a slut, and I never had a parental figure to turn to. I was in and out of relationships constantly and only recently (I’m now 17) have I realised that I’ve slowly started to recognise it was abuse, and retreat from sexual activity and relationships thanks to a recent heart break and the internet educating me on these things after researching it. Now I have realised that I never emotionally liked it when people touched me, mistaking it for physical pleasure, and that I only ever really liked it when I was emotionally connected to the person (which only happened twice). I have recently started liking a girl, thinking I was straight. So for obvious reasons I was really confused so I decided to research about different sexual orientations, and a demisexual seems to fit me, but so does Gray-a sexual and simply bi-curious. Also, sorry for the long rant but I felt I needed to share so that you would understand my story and make accurate judgements based on this information. But thoughts?
You don't need to label your sexuality. *Most* girls go through stage or period where they find themselves attracted to other females. Sometimes it isn't just a phase though, and liking girls becomes life long. My advice to you is to follow your heart, and worry about the labels later. If you want to be with a girl, be with one! If not, that's fine too. Keep your head up, and congratulations on overcoming the abuse. Feel free to message me if you would like ♡
I agree with Sumer Ariel! You don't need a label, though it may seem that you are pansexual? Who knows! That's a personal preference. Ha, one of my friends goes by- My sexuality is 'I like who I like'. Which is what it usually comes down to. If you want to be with this girl, and you feel that you really love her, then go for it! There's always a later, a future, and a when you're older if you want. :) Also, I'm sorry for what you went through. No one deserves that. Much guidance to you! -With love, Ivy