Ok, so basically, I dont know what it is I have, I know for a fact its easily identified because so many people have it, I just really cannot put a name to what it is, but if I tell you this mini story maybe you can help.
So basically i’m always thinking, I know everyone thinks, but i’m always in my head, thinking, I overthink everything, money, jobs, bills, socializing, hobbies, food, problems, honestly anything.
I’m never happy, whenever I finally do get happy, im always on the look out for anything that will kill my buzz, I generally have bad luck, or it would seem because bad news always follows me, I have money, but I worry about what to spend it on because I worry about whats going to happen if I spend my money and then i’ll have no money, then when the next lot of money I get, how long will it last, then I try to save my money but then bills and food take away my money, I always overthink things to the max and to be honest, it hurts always thinking about everything, its so exhausting, I dont think my shoulders have lowered for about 3 years, I never have anyone to talk to about it because in real life, I come across as this confident person you’d never realise whats going on ‘under the hood’ because I never let my problems surface, I think the worst part is, I am an adept liar, I take no pride in why I do it, I guess im just either too stupid or my pride (no difference) wont let me express my feelings, I have a partner and we both have jobs but I am the backbone, my partner relies on me when “The S**T hits the fan” and I fear when I break down, my partner has nowhere to turn, i’m just so tired, so very tired.
Now I uh.. I dont really know how to say this without seeming like a negative douche or anything, but, I am not asking for your pity, I am just asking for some help, do I have anxiety? Am I depressed? I guess my own naivety? Is that even a word? I guess I am just so blinded by my problems that it gets me upset that I have all these problems to begin with, I know it would improve my life by sorting out all these problems, I guess just answered my own question.. Ugh.. I am exhausted. please reply. I guess I just need someone to talk to :S
Thanks if you read this far, I really do appreciate it.
