I think i’m in love with my best friend

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So the problem is I really like this girl, but on her tumblr posts and tweets and stuff she’s always saying she’d “love to fall in love” but i’m like head over heels in love for her. I thought up till now that she might share the same feelings but now i’m not so sure. idk if i’ve been doing something wrong idk what to do i’m just too afraid to tell her I like her, and i’m really scared of relationships and commitment in general. I’m honestly not even sure if IM even ready to be in a relationship, but i haven’t felt this way about anyone ever before and I think I know now that it’s not just a friendship admiration kind of love, like I want to take her in my arms and hold her hand kind of love.

It’s just whenever I even just THINK about actually telling her I start crying i’m so scared. I’m just afraid if I don’t tell her i’m going to regret it for the rest of my life, and if I do and she doesn’t feel the same way i’ll be losing the closest friend i’ve ever had. It’s just not as easy for me as just “telling her you like her” idk what to do, this is absolute torture.

*p.s we’re both bi and fully okay with being in a relationship with another girl that’s not the issue here*

Category: Tags: asked July 29, 2015

2 Answers

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accepted
Well first of all, I'm glad you addressed the fact you were both bisexual and okay with coming out to each other. I personally feel that this symbolizes a trusted relationship that you two value so much. And that only makes me understand more about why you're scared that you're jeopardizing this relationship by expressing your feelings of love towards her. But I don't think you should directly indulge into a relationship if you're not fully prepared to be in one as I've seen previously that if you go along with your feelings and managed to achieve that relationship that you wanted, it might not stay positive forever because you're not confident that it will turn out well. I hope I don't deter you from being comfortable in coming out to your friend about this, it's very important that you do.But the key words are respect and perspective. If you don't respect your friend's honest opinion about how she feels about you and your current status with her (whether she takes it to the next level or not), then it'll affect how you think of her. She's not gonna be upset that you love her, she'll be more upset that she can't feel those same emotions connecting with your's and that she knows she will not give you equal enjoyment in that relationship and that you should be glad about her honesty because if she lied and says yes, it's only to make you happy, but in reality it's not going to make you happy down the road in that relationship.Along with respect, you need perspective. Imagine yourself being told through text or in person that someone you knew closely was in love with you. Think about what would you like to make yourself feel more comfortable and confident in your answer. Do you want to communicate more with them about it (Ask questions, allow her to ask some too), do you need time to think about it, or even if you're personally ready to handle this relationship? Which you said earlier which is a perfect step before asking someone.I know you can't control these feelings you want to make this person in your life really special to you, yet simply allowing them the knowledge of saying "This is how I really feel about you, and I can't control it. I love you, can we talk about it?" without the uncomfortable atmosphere of allowing them to not feeling the same way that you do is a great way to establish a stronger relationship with her, even if it's just a friendship. And maybe who knows? She might grow into the idea of a relationship with you if you're confident in it and you treat her well as a close friend first.
1
it's simple my dear, just take a risk . if you like your best friend, tell her. if she feels the other way around, don't conclude that you'll loose her okay? you're not a fortune teller to say that if he doesn't like you, you'll loose her.