I need a friend….a real friend…..im so scared im gonna get end up alone for good, and i have so much love and affection to give. Im not a bitch and am actually a convicted felon with a bad past of mistakes and ill advised choices. Im damaged physically and have nothing to show for my life so far, other than my honesty, my writing, my poems, my opinions and my devotion to help others. Im not gonna waste anyones times telling my sad tragic latent story of heartbreak and love lost, but Im at the end of my rope and already tried killing myhself once this holiday season but chickened out for the sake of my poor mother. I have little faith but still wanna believe that maybe I can meet someone here who will willing to hear my story, feelings and desires about life. I have no use for any guys, cause I have guy friends and Im the only androgynous male I know. I need a girls friendship and closeness, maybe someone who can relate or empathize with what Im going through. Im so sick of pretending to be happy and content only to appease the same motherfuckers who could care less about what I or anyone else goes through. Chivalry is dead and its a sad fact, not to mention compassion, common courtesy, and the ability to wanna help others. Altruism is something that has always come naturally to me and it keeps my faith in humanity alive but its incredibly hard to continue doing what Im doing, knowing that the best years are behind me and I may never get a chance to love agian or at least share my love with an angel who would care about me the same way. Im begging anygirl who needs a friend or is looking for a guy who actually would wanna be that knight in shinning armor to contact me and save me from the thoughts that torment me every night and provide a bridge to the nightmares of life that i call my own……James