I honestly gain no sense of enjoyment out of anything I do any more to the point its mentally painful to carry on, is life worth it?

I know its a really dark title but I think it sums up everything nicely, for my entire life I’ve struggled to gain a sense of happiness and yet people seem to find it so easy.

I think extremely deep about every question that is raised in my head, what to do with my life and where it will lead up to and everything just seems pointless without striving to achieve ones happiness.

Its something that has been lost for me for so long and everything I try and do from hobbies to generally trying to treat myself nothing ever works.

To this day its gotten a huge hold against me, everyone says “It will all be better” but what future is there? everything I do now I get no sense of achievement, I try to socialise a lot more but again I feel nothing from it.

I’m new to this site and I know this isn’t going to magically solve my problems as I’ve just grown to accept them but living a husk of life, a shell of existence its so empty, hollow, meaningless and cold…

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Anonymous

1,181

2 Answers

You sound as though you meet many criteria for depression. I would recommend looking into that, if you haven't already. As well, you need to determine if this is a funk, or if it an enduring mindset. You should also consider your age as a factor: when I was 15 I had a VERY similar mindset to what you have described. Things have certainly improved since. I would imagine you have put a lot of thought into this, but believe me when I say, it is possible and in fact likely that in your state you have missed something.

The area where I might be a little bit different from others on here is that I am not morally opposed to death as the way out. I only hope though, that if this is what you choose, that is the final option. Death is terrible in how final it is, but choosing one's own end is, in my opinion, a beautiful act. I found watching this to be quite inspiring, no matter what your choice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slZnfC-V1SY

I wish you great luck in your endeavors. I hope you find peace in your choice. And for what it is worth, I hope you do remain here with us.

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Sentinel

1,160

I'm in the same place as you. To put it simply, yes. It is. It may look as though everyone finds happiness as easily as we breathe, but that certainly isn't the case. Others may find it just as hard as you. I've been struggling with depression since I was 10, and I'm not on any medication or being looked at by doctors or anything. You definitely sound like you may have it. As Sentinel says, you probably should look into that. Life is beautiful in spurts. You have hard times so that you may appreciate the good times more. You just have to stay strong and keep pushing through. I believe it you. <3

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Briana