I don’t know what to do :(

It sounds like you're having a really rough time. That ex boyfriend definitely needs to be cut out of your life, if you can manage that. He is only going to make you feel worse. Is there any mending of the friendships that you can do? Finding a new group of friends can be very hard, but in this case where they are already pulling away and your ex is being a mega jerk, it might be a good idea. Please hold on and be strong. If the urge to end your life gets stronger, please talk to someone regarding this. This website has a number of good resources, including the Suicide Prevention Lifeline - http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx If there's any way you can get a counselor in person I think that would help too - but I know how hard it is to get out of waiting lists or be seen. You and your family also need time to grieve over your great grandmother. Hopefully you can come together and support each other.

First of all, your ex is a complete monster. I am supportive of any choice that a woman makes regarding her pregnancy, but you stated you wanted to keep it and he coerced you into taking an abortion, that is a horrible situation. An abortion should be taken on your own terms/the right decision for you, and not for someone else .

Second, those friends of yours that flirt back/sleep with him? They are not your friends. I wouldn't even try to mend those relationships, a true friend would not be pulling away from you/sleeping with your ex behind your back.

I would strongly encourage you to cut off ties with both your ex and those friends. I would then seek counselling and support groups, there are a few post-abortion support groups that are not pro-life/not meant to make you feel guilty about what has happened, but rather, help you find a path to healing/coping with your loss, or perhaps a grief support group to help regarding your grandmother's death (and the loss of the child you had wanted). Get yourself involved in volunteer work, some community night classes in something that you've wanted to learn (cooking? Painting? Yoga? etc) and do not engage with either your friends or him. They are destructive and will only cause further pain.

As Mellow Mellow has mentioned, there are suicide crisis lines if you are starting to feel really overwhelmed. I don't think the advice 'to stay strong' is helpful though, because that is putting pressure on you. It's okay to be in a moment of weakness and feel vulnerable, your ex has said/done some terrible things, your friends aren't there for you, you've lost a child you had wanted and your family aren't being supportive, you are in a really fragile state right now. What's important is that during this time, you are supported by those who can be strong for you, while you rebuild your strength. A counsellor or support group might be beneficial in helping you achieve this.

I'm not very good at relationship advice, but I can try. Humans are social creatures by nature and need other humans to support them. I will try to function as support.On your Ex: he is a jerk. I wish I could tell you to do something about him, but he is a jerk.On your friends: they need to get behind you and ban your ex from your society. Have you tried reaching out and making more friends?On your Family: this (to me) needs to be resolved first. Perhaps you could try initiating a conversation. The idea is to stay calm. Yelling, insults, and anger will get you nowhere. Try to have civil conversations with them. You might try to sit down and set some guide lines for the conversation?On your life: there is no reason to end your life. Everything seems terrible today, but what about ten years from now? twenty? You have a future. It might be hard to get there and you may get hurt many times before you make it, but eventually life will get better.Keep hunting for those new horizons. (I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this. But no one else answered and I felt this deserved a response)