How will I end up?

-2

Hey, I’m scared…

I’m just really scared because I’m not a responsible teen!!!
I’m only 13, I should be wise and make smart desicions,
but NO, instead I dirty talked on omegle because hormones… (2-3 months ago or something)

I’M THIRTEEN, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING AND BE GIRLY AND ENJOY CHICK-FLICKS WITH FRIENDS OR WATCH ANIME, HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE, I DON’T KNOW! I’M SUPPOSED TO BE INNOCENT AND SWEET AND HAPPY WITH MY LIFE JUST LIKE THIS ONE GIRL I KNOW..I’M SUPPOSED TO BE SHOPPING, HAVING FAMILY TIME, BUT I BARELY HAVE FAMILY LEFT FFS.

This is not where I wanted to be at this age…God no!
I suffer with anxiety and OCD,
I lost a parent LAST YEAR,
I lost my innocence this summer,
I live in an unfinished house,
I lost my best friend this summer,
I probably have sugar addiction,
I’m developing sexually really differently from other teens,
AND my family is cursed with bad luck. Basically nobody in my family has ended up happy, they’ve all failed life,

AND I’M SO SCARED OF DOING THAT TOO!
DIRTY TALKING TO A LOT OF STRANGERS ONLINE, ANONYMOUSLY,
I’M PROBABLY GONNA END UP SLEEPING AROUND!

I’VE EVEN TRIED CHAMPAGNE OMG, I’LL END UP DRINKING.

What if I end up smoking and drinking? And become addicted to sex and fail my school and just fail life just like all my family?

Hell, I’m probably gonna get divorced 1000 times in the future, I have some sort of effect on people that turn them into cold hearted sadists when they’re around me!

I’M SICK OF THIS!

DO I EVEN BELONG ON THIS STUPID PIECE OF SHIT CALLED EARTH?

HOW IN THE WORLD WILL I END UP AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN THROUGH AND DONE!?

LIKE EVERYONE AROUND ME IS SOOO FUCKING HAPPY, I HATE HAPPY PEOPLE! Like the other day the class went on some trip and there are like some of their parents who are teachers and YEAH THEY WERE ALL SO HAPPY WHILE ME AND MY MOM ARE SUFFOCATING IN ANXIETY OR SOMETHING

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Uni

179

2 Answers

And how do you know they're all happy? How do you know that the parents chaperoning weren't also thinking about their divorce, or their sister in the hospital, or worrying about their job? It's kind of impossible to tell what everybody else is thinking, so trust me on this: nobody has a perfect life. We all eff up at some point. We all pretend, even adults. If you had to be perfect to be considered an adult, 100% of the Earth's population would still be in pre-school.

In the nicest possible way, so what if you end up sleeping around? As long as you protect yourself, it's a valid thing to do. And there are support groups for alcoholics, not that I think you'll ever be one. And if you do drugs, you'll have different problems, but you'll probably survive those too.

Sorry, but if you're trying to get somebody to tell you "yes, you're doomed", you're in the wrong place. Instead, if I might offer you a suggestion, you should talk to somebody in real life about this, like a guidance counselor or your mother, who might be able to give you access to a therapist, who can teach you ways of managing anxiety.

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Anybody

904

I see what's going on here- You think you're completely different from other girls your age, you think you're "weird" or something. I'm going to tell you right now, I'm 19, I've been through puberty, and losing a parent, depression, ALL of it. YOU ARE NOT WEIRD. It's normal. Being curious, experimenting, it's something every teen goes through. And as for not being as "happy" as the people around you, I agree with the comment above. You can't measure a person's happiness based on what they show on the outside. Every acts, at some point in their life. You'd be surprised as to how many people fake a smile. It's okay to drink once in a while (when you become of legal age, of course), it's okay if you sleep around sometimes, and it's okay to have a bad day every now and then. Everything is okay in moderation. Don't put yourself down, though. You'll be fine. You'll be successful. Just think positive and don't let your mind bog you down. You're just going through a weird time right now, remember that. When you get past it, everything will fall in place for you. Hope all works out and message me if you ever need to talk! Ariana.

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BetterAngel

115