Last week my mother had surgery, it was pretty big deal and I ended up missing work for four days to be with her. I had trouble though with the fact I was abandoned to care for my mother alone. I love my mom, I didn’t mind helping her but I live a 40 minutes drive away while the rest of my family (5 people) all live within a 6-7 minute drive from her. I had to literally go to their homes and get them to get them over to see her. This is a family member going through a big deal, why am I the only person who seems to care?
At first everything was great I have no issue being patient and caring for someone else, but after doing it alone Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday etc etc by Friday I wanted to scream. I even felt resentful and I am mad at myself because it not my mothers fault.
I couldn’t miss anymore work this week and because I didn’t want to leave her alone at all and no one would come over to replace me I ended staying the whole week and finally going home late Sunday and had a weeks worth of chores to do. I ended up going to sleep only 2 hours before work Monday and I seem to have lost all my energy and drive. I’m usually so dedicated and efficient but I’ve been almost late to work every morning since, I am having trouble sleeping, can’t seem to wake up, because of this I have become short tempered.
maybe its my mindset but my normal swim sessions are not helping, my chest feels tight, I have little appetite, I managed to drop my phone and break it for the first time in my life (I’ve had the same phone for 3 years, I’m the only member of my family to keep a phone in good condition throughout a contract) I keep forgetting things.
Today my boss even told me he was considering giving me a raise soon and I had no enthusiasm. None. I went back to my desk and just felt like going home. My normal tasks are taking a ridiculous amount of time and effort to do. I feel so drained but get home and can not sleep.
I’ve been taking my meds, I’m being persistent in my usual routine, doing my exercise (normally swimming helps me relax), avoiding junk food and fast food (it makes me more slugish) and drinking tons of water and avoiding anything with caffeine after 1 pm. I just seem to be stuck in a numb listless fog. Anyone have any options or advice for how to get my normal back?
