How to know when to break up

Everything is going somewhat alright with me and my boyfriend. I just can’t help but feel like our “love” is routine. My parents and family don’t support me in this relationship AT ALL, and I have to sneak around behind my parents’ backs in order to see him without getting in trouble. My friends think he’s okay, but I can tell they are just trying to be nice about the whole thing. I have been questioning my feelings for him. It just lacks the…passion, love, etc. I just don’t feel it as strongly as I used to. But whenever I think about breaking up with him, my heart burns and I want to scream and cry.

I know that I don’t love him, but he hasn’t done anything wrong or anything to upset me. He doesn’t deserve it, and it would break my heart to hurt him. I honestly have no idea what to do, it’s like I love him, I’m not IN love with him, and I don’t want to be without him all at the same time?! I was thinking about taking a break from the whole thing, just to see how well I am without him, but I can’t bring myself to actually break up. What should I do?

Category: Dating & Relationships asked May 26, 2015

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Savannah

349

6 Answers

0 accepted

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Savannah

349

A break up is necessary if you don't love him...

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nomatterwhatistheworld

Just read the link that rinseandrep posted. It is indeed insightful and will most certainly help you answer your question.

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NoblePebble

514

If you want to break up with him without hurting him, perhaps you can try and get him to break up with you. You don't have to be mean - just be a bit more disinterested everyday. That would more or less actually be being honest, considering you evidently are feeling disinterested and the interest you're showing is just a facade at this point. I don't think this relationship is right for you, and you're feeling indecisive only because you're considering his feelings! I would say break up with him or just try and get him to break up with you if you really don't want to hurt his feelings at all.

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Dannizy

Good range of experiences on the topic:
http://therumpus.net/2011/06/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-77-the-truth-that-lives-there/
It might help you figure out what you want.

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rinseandrep

7,397

I think love is something fantastic TWO people share. If you don't love someone and you are in a relationship i think you should break up. At first my parent did not want me to date girls at all, and i did not understand then one day i tried in their back and i felt like i was doing a crime and that the relationship was going nowhere. I broke up and i finally understood that , getting in a relationship with someone you love without having an aim apart from ( i want to date , i think i need someone , all my friends do so and many others) lead no where. But when you get mature and can take responsibilities there you will find everything with your partner.

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Adict Prince

-2

All the information you needed was right here: "I know that I don’t love him." - That is the only relevant point. As long as you continue disingenuously, you are only laying the foundation for greater future harm.

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Humanist Hope

16,417