How to forget someone..?

Hi Lana,

In my opinion, the biggest mistake people make is trying to forget someone entirely. It isn’t possible. It would be so nice if we could just press rewind to the day we met certain people sometimes, but you meet everyone for a reason, as cliche as that sounds. Whomever you’ve lost, however they have touched your life, is a big part of who you are today, even though it is over now. It’s hard. It might be one of the hardest things in the world, emotionally. It’s a lot like a grieving process only sometimes, you still have to face this person. And that’s hard, there is no denying that.

But ignoring how this separation and this person make you feel is denying a large part of you. Ignoring our emotions feeds them. It’s like when you tell a little kid not to touch a stove because it’s hot: they’re going to touch it now that it’s forbidden to them. You tell your mind not to think about this person, and suddenly you’re whole body is overflowing with memories of them. Though it’s easier said than done, it’s healthier to acknowledge and accept your emotions--as hard and frustrating as they are--as they come, because they will always resurface, maybe stronger than they once were.

Every break up, or separation, comes with its own grieving process. We call them peaks and valleys. At times, you’ll feel really good. You might even forget why you were so upset in the first place--for a minute. This happens a lot when people first wake up in the morning. And the valley happens when it all comes rushing back to you, and you feel lower than you did yesterday. The good news is those valleys will start filling in. Soon, they’ll be flat lands. The valleys will become plateaus and it will stop hurting so much; you just have to give it time.

You are young. You will go through a lot of break ups, and at least half--if not all--will feel like the end of the world. But the good news is that you always find someone else, and the old boyfriends/girlfriends become, very literally, things of the past! Stay strong. Hold on. Don’t deny what you’re feeling, just wait it out, try to accept it, and soon, it won’t feel so badly.

Elizabeth

trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met

There are lots of things you can do, just don't expect it to be a fast process. You can focus on work, find hobbies, spend more time with friends, things that will take your mind off of it. Try writing down things that are bad about the person you like and when you feel blue about it read it. Hang out with other boys/girls, flirt with them a little, remember that there are a lot more people that you can connect to on the same level.

I feel your pain. I recently lost a connection myself. It was a very complicated relationship of about four years- we got to the point that we agreed we were soulmates... and it's been two and a half months since we've spoken after a rough fight. You never forget or get over the ones you really love. They become a memory... or a feeling. Some days will go by easily, the person may not even cross your mind, but other days, wow, other days will be straight out of hell. Just remember that it's okay to grieve.. it's okay to not be okay and it's okay to lean on loved ones and friends. Be open and feel free to talk about your feelings, but also don't rely on that completely. Remember that you need to step away from this person and dedicate time to yourself. Be selfish and do all the things you always wanted to but never could. Keep your mind busy and one day, your heart will start to follow suit.

I have been struggling with forgetting my ex. I was really invested in the relationship and truly cared a LOT... but it just didnt work out. I still miss him every once in a while and I will always care about him, but now I realize that our relationship was good sometimes but it wasnt meant to be. The good memorys ALWAYS seem so much better than they were when you look back. When I do feel bad about it I just remember that I learned alot and what I learned will only carry over into my next relationship and make the next relationship even BETTER. Sometimes people are meant to come into your life, but not meant to stay in it. Just try to understand the lesson that comes with the pain. I know its hard but theres always hope in the future and you never know what time will bring you. :)

Hi Lana;I'm still trying to forget my ex, for over a year, we date for 2 years there were a lot of thing and like you, I put everything in the relationship. I don't have the solution because no matter what, you live something important with him, and is not just memories is also experiences, etc, so do like me, give it time, hopefully he will just became someone who you had good and bad time.

Unfortunately the pain will always kind of be there... it just fades. Its like an open wound... It will always hurt when you think about how bad it felt but it begins to heal itself and then just becomes a scar. You just need to start doing things that make you happy and things that DONT remind you of him... also journaling helps ALOT. Do you have a Tumblr?... that helps too cause it has a lot of motivational quotes and things like that. Just don't do anything that would provoke you to think about him. You'll still have thoughts about him but you can try and minimize them. There is no easy fix to heal the pain but I hope I could help.

okay.. is there any way to forget at least the pain in it then....?