How to face the consequences of my wrong decisions?

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My parents always decide things for me. I always obey and follow what they said and ordered but all of it resulted the best for me. Until one day, I tried to decide for myself and fight for it that results to a major fight between me and my parents. We are typically not in good terms for each other. Not long after, my parents agreed to it but I know my mother is still hesitant about it. After I get what I want, I was very happy about it. Days have passed that turn into weeks and turned into months, I was starting to regret my decision. Time to time, I start saying to myself that “What if I followed what my mom said. What if I obeyed dad’s order? Would I be happy?”. I can go back time – Sure but It’s not that easy. When I asked my mom about it every other day she would just lecture me over and over again. I know what I did is a mistake and I learned from it. I want to go back time and follow what my parents told me.

Category: Tags: asked March 6, 2015

2 Answers

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Here's the thing: Your parents likely have never thrown road blocks in front of your immediate goals because they don't like you being happy. The opposite is likely true. They've been your age, gone through similar things, and can likely anticipate the outcome of your decisions. So, they tell you not to do certain things because they worry about the consequences of your choices. That right there is what we call love. With all that being said, you can't ever go back in time and I would argue that you shouldn't want to. Like you, I am also an over-thinker; the type of person that will agonize over trivial decisions like making coffee in the morning vs buying coffee. I'm getting past that though because I've come to realize that there are no wrong decisions -- there are only different ways of figuring things out, and as long as you learn from every "mistake" you think you've made you shouldn't have any regrets in life.
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Remember, a big part of growing up is making mistakes. Even though it's nice for parents to make decisions for their child because they don't want them to be sad, part of raising a child involves letting them experience failure. Otherwise, when you're not there as a parent, how can the child make decisions on their own? How can they handle failure if they've never experienced it when you're there, as a parent, to help them through it? You cannot just blame yourself for making a mistake. You will learn way more from your own failures than anything else, this is preparing you for the future. It's okay to regret things, we all have things we wish that we could change, but there comes a point where you need to move on. Never forget, always learn from the mistake, but you can't get hung up on it forever. You cannot obey your entire life because then you're not living your own life. So it's okay to regret, but don't feel guilty for making your own decisions.