how do you cope in a relationship with BPD

Have you tried googling resources? I used to be into Dialectical Behavioral Therapy because it is made for individuals with BPD. DBT has mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance exercises. Distress tolerance is used to push away a thought and keep busy with something else. These resources can help you cope with your diagnosis and it wouldn't hurt to have your boyfriend join in and be supportive of you. I have a friend with BPD and he has learned to cope. I really don't know how he taught himself coping strategies, but i know he does a lot of yoga and tries to stay focused on work, school, etc. so he doesn't have unpleasant feelings or thoughts. I would definitely look into DBT. I have a group where i'm going through some of the modules. You are welcome to contact me whenever :)

It seems like you're already going through a lot as an individual, and even though everyone says boyfriends are there to help you, more often than not they have trouble supporting you as well as themselves. It is possible that trying to find the caring part of him is making things harder for you. Are there other close people in your life that are supporting you more consistently? Let me know about this. Anytime, ok? :)

Thank you for the help guys. I will definitely look into DBT, sounds helpful. It probably isn't helping having a boyfriend but I cannot imagine my life without him.