How do you come out?

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I’m scared. I’m scared of what my parents will think. I’m scared of what my friends will say. I don’t want my bestfriend to be freaked out because he’s the one person I truly trust and I want him to be the first to know but what if he doesn’t accept me? What if I’m left alone. My parents have always been against gays and I don’t want to be the child that is looked down upon or even disowned.. I don’t know what to do.

Category: Tags: asked January 22, 2014

10 Answers

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When I came out as lesbian I was very fortunate that my mum is a really accepting person but there was some people in my family that weren't as accepting. Also I have some friends that have a massively issue with it and the best advice I can really give is, if you are really ready to come out, then you should come out. But I don't think you should put pressure on yourself, like who you are attracted too is no ones business but your own but I know that its nice to be able to discuss it with friends and family. My best friend of nine years was one of the ones that took it badly and she said she didn't want to share a bed with me anymore or get dressed in front of me anymore and that hurt. she had no issue doing it before I came out and I just kept reassuring her that in all the time she knew me, all the time she got undressed in front of me, I was still gay she just didn't know. You are still you, regardless of what gender you are attracted too. She came round eventually and for some people it takes a while but the people who love you for you will come around eventually. Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind.
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I think you should do what feels right to you. People, especially parents, are more inclined to acceptance when what they're against becomes personal. It could be the best thing that ever happened to you. You shouldn't hide who you are. The people that truly care about you will love you for who you are.
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I'm asking the same question.. I'll be coming out as bi soon, I hope..
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I think you should find one person to tell in your life that you think will support in this. I hid for 9 years because I was scared and got myself into trouble. My online boyfriend at the time told me that I was only hurting myself. So I told a close friend at school the next day, they didn't hate me, and I slowly grew my support group and while I did lose friends and family reunions are really awkward I feel better. Just start with one person. PM me if you need to talk about it.
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Well I understand that you want to be true to yourself and I support that. Do you know anyone who is openly gay/bi/lesbian? If so you might consider trying to talk to them about it. Also if your school has a club or something? You could also look for a support group. If you are truly afraid of your parents reaction then you might need to wait longer. I have someone very close to me who was abused and disowned when he came out as being gay. I'm not trying to scare you by saying this, but it is a possibility. Only you would know if this is a possibility. Please keep your safety in mind at all times. As for your best friend, may be you could test the waters, so to speak. This might sound terrible, but you might have to make up a story to do so. For example say someone you know but maybe your best friend doesn't know (or make them up) and say they just came out to and may be see how your friend reacts. I really want to support you with this, but you need to do what is best for you. I wish I could be of more help. Best of Luck!
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I personally don't plan on coming out. Ever. Not sure how close you are to your family but personally the only way I will come out is if I get with a guy who requests that I tell my family. Otherwise, sexuality in my opinion, isn't a thing that needs to be announced therefore for me, it won't. I mean if you think coming out will help things I can understand but it's annoying that sexuality isn't seen as the same as any other preference. You wouldn't go sit your parents down and tell them you like pepsi and not coke would you? Do you mind if I ask is there a reason you're considering coming out?
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Doesent matter what other people will think, if you trust and listen to what you want, you will get what you want, if other people say ohh thats so wrong thats their problem. i know that it is many people who are gay that are afraid to come out. dont be afraid. you will damage yourself pretending like its nothing. beleive more in your self ;) i think you will come out great.
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I have a lesbian friend who is accepted by everybody at my school. I came out to a small group of friends that included her. I said I was pansexual. I acted like it was a joke, but still seriously; I didn't make it seem like it was a big deal. When they were shocked and asked me about it, I just shrugged and said that I couldn't change the way I am. I haven't come out to a few of my friends, and definitely NOT my parents. I want the rest of my friends to just find out on their own, and hopefully they accept me. I am not going to tell my parents until I absolutely have to, like I'm engaged or something. Unless I ever have the courage to. But do whatever you feel comfortable with:)
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I feel like absolute shit saying this. Don't. Don't come out. I came out, and it was absolutely awful. Of course, not all cases are like mine, and coming out is much better than hiding who you are. I want to be encouraging and helpful and supportive, but it's just my personal opinion. I wouldn't. Of course, there are people who accept you for who you are, you just need to find those people.
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Shove a carrot up your ass and let it break it in you, then poop it out and when your parents see in the toilet they will know and understand I did it !