how do I stop wanting a bf so bad?

0

WTF. I am only 16 but I can’t stop wondering why I am single and why guys don’t like me. I want to get over it but can’t. It is so frustrating to think I will never get a boyfriend. All my friends are in a relationship and I -for some reason- haven’t “found anyone” yet. Please tell me, how can I stop? Can anyone give me realistic hope? I have never dated before. Yes, I am shy, but I am tired of people telling me that’s the reason. I know shy girls with great bfs.

Category: Tags: asked May 19, 2013

4 Answers

1
Well. The way I see it, it is simply natural to want someone close to you. Right now I am at the tail end of recovering from a breakup and I can tell you right now that it definitely wasn't the girl herself I missed, it was just having A girlfriend. It's really hard when, in my case at least, both of my best friends have very close girlfriends. It's just the small "perks" you miss... you can imagine what those are. I honestly cannot tell you right now how to just STOP wanting it because it is only natural. But I CAN tell you how to get one: by not caring as much or at all. In my experience with all of my girlfriends, whenever I am in a state of just being in the moment, not caring about who I'm with, what people think of me, etc. I have somehow gotten a girlfriend out of it. Honestly you simply cannot TRY to find one. It is the most cliché advice, but also the most true advice: you must just be yourself and live in the moment. You may land a boyfriend by being fake or putting on a facade, but it is just setting up the relationship for disaster later on... trust me, I know. Good luck to you!
0
It's a very common preoccupation during the teen years to find someone to love, it's natural to want that, and especially with all the media around having a significant other, it seems to get even more difficult when some people don't find that special person. This could be for a number of reasons, but like you said yourself, you're 16 ... you have plenty of time, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. All your friends that already have boyfriends are different people - they have their own experience, you have yours. Not having dated by the age of 16 is no argument to think you will never have a relationship. In the meantime, until you find that special someone, maybe you could think about what it is you'd like in a relationship - what do you need? Then you could figure out alternate ways to fulfill at least some of these needs without a boyfriend (could be anything from companionship, to being appreciated as the woman you are gradually becoming, to being important to someone ... the list goes on), maybe that would make things a little easier to bare. And if the longing to have a boyfriend persists, at least take some comfort in the thought that many teenage girls (and even women who are single for a while) are dealing with that. You are not alone and you're worthy of love even if you don't have it the way you'd like just yet <3
0
I used to feel that way. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 19 and in college. I was very quiet and shy and just kept to myself. College was where I blossomed and came out of my shell. You definitely are still young and have plenty of time. Just enjoy your life...do things that make you happy and know that it will happen. I'm now almost 28 and single again. It's definitely hard being alone. Feel free to talk to me whenever.
0
I totally know how you feel... In fact, I'm 16 years old also and always wonder why all my friends find love while I'm just in the corner watching... It's hard to always feel lonely, but what I tell myself is that one day someone great is going to walk in front of me--or maybe he already has? Eventually everything will come into play; God has a plan for all of us! Just remind yourself that in the time being you've got family and friends who love you, and until you find someone, that's enough!