The first months after the end of a relationship is spent deconstructing, overanalyzing and explaining to every one you ever met what went wrong. We tend to either blame the breakup on ourselves or entirely on him, and neither really gets us anywhere. A good friend of mine told me about an umpteen-paged letter she wrote to an ex specifically describing how he hurt her and the fault she was willing to claim. She never sent it. Women always tend to be the helpless and wounded in movies, and it's seemingly no different when it comes to relationships. According to the American Psychological Association, women are twice as likely to develop depression than men. Don't get me wrong, the sympathy is nice when we feel lost and lonely, but it only makes us that much more vulnerable. Be strong and positive. Easier said than done of course, but the stronger-willed we are, the less likely we are to make bad decisions and be taken advantage of by the hard-to-resist rebound.. One of the worst mistakes we make after a bad breakup is letting ourselves go physically, mentally, emotionally—or all the above. We tend to break down and spend too much time in our sweatpants wallowing. And wallowing is good—even needed—for a certain period of time. But after the initial breakup shock has worn off, we need to get off the couch and take care of ourselves. This step is the hardest because it forces us to admit the relationship is completely over. Sit down and make a new list of priorities—sans ex—and figure out what is important to you. Give precedence to your family, friends, career and yourself. Find ways to fill that time left void by him and try new things. Push for that promotion, reconnect with old friends and take a mini-vacation with your mom or sister. Whatever it is, just count him out. I hope for the best and hope that you can be you with a smile. You deserve happiness. :)
