How do I get over being abused as a child?

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I was abused as a child and I am 18 now and don’t see my father, who abused me, but I can’t get over it. It still affects me to this day, and I get really depressed.

Category: Tags: asked July 22, 2014

3 Answers

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I don't think you need to "get over it" but more or less accept it. I too, grew up in an abusive household. I watched my father beat my mother until she was unconscious. My mother eventually remarried and then my new step father would beat my brothers and I, stab us with forks and slap us across the face. I've come to realize that there was nothing I ever did to deserve to see any of that and that there was nothing that I did to deserve to be abused in such a way. I have forgiven my father, it was a different time then and he was quite the alcoholic.As I said before I think you need to accept your past and learn from it. Keep your eyes and ears open to the cries of others who are going through abuse but are too afraid to speak out. You can become a very big help to others in your situation.If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask!
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Marissa,

The Marissa who answered your post to say you have to accept it is pretty well bang on. When I was about 10 my mother became very abusive and I moved out when I was 16. My mother tried to stay in contact with me although I didn't want anything to do with her. Eventually she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I realized this is why she was so abusive. I still hated her quite a bit for all that she had done to me. My mother called me one day and although I didn't want to talk to her I wouldn't hang up... I would just listen to her and try to end the call quickly never really saying much. The whole thing would go on to ruin my day as I would think about how much I hated her and how I shouldn't even answer the phone when she calls. I would lay awake at night fuming at the idea "how dare she... who does she think she is to me?" I never called her... never replied when she said "i love you." I couldn't understand why she just couldn't get the message I didn't ever want to talk to her again. Well I had kept all this anger bottled up inside for so long and I realized I didn't want to be angry anymore. I was laying awake in bed bothered by it and I realized to myself that my mother was probably sleeping quite well... not bothered at all by the abuse she used to inflict on me. I realized that all my hatred for her was only effecting me in my life... it did nothing to her. As soon as I realized that all the weight was lifted and it has never bothered me since.

I have since then heard a pretty good quote that sums this idea up. "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting them to die." The anger you feel negatively impacts your life... not theirs. When you realize this you will free yourself from it.
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this is a normal reaction to childhood abuse. you're probably suffering from PTSD. I think the best thing you can do now is seek professional help. that will help you untangle the emotions you have carried all these years. keep in mind, it took 18 years to get you mentally ill, recovery will also take time. hopefully, it won't take 18 years, but don't expect things to get miraculously better after a few therapy sessions or some pills. recovery takes practice and patience. good luck c: c: