How do I deal with this..?

Hello Miss Amber, and thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

Oh dear, life and death, you do have a heavy load on your shoulders. It is completely understandable that you were rendered so upset after finishing the documentary.Where does one begin to explain?

There is no sole method for coping with death, and it is an apt word for the process; "cope", because there is no "getting over" death, only a means by which you make accommodations for it. You make a place in yourself for the pains and pangs of death to reside.

The emotions you felt when you watched those men confront their final moments are very valid. It brought you face to face with the reality of your own mortality, which is never a very comforting experience.

The remorse you felt was not so much for the men themselves, it was for the waste of human life. Seeing anyone with such an irretrievably-ruined life would be distressing for and arise feelings of self-reflection in any human being capable of empathy. We are humans, and this life is the only one that we get. It is precious to anyone who understands this, and we are hard-wired with self-preservation.

To conclude, there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Valuing human life is one of the highest accomplishments in life, it is also one of the most basic.

I hope I have sufficiently answered your question, it took me a considerable amount of time to put this together.

Please keep in contact, and have a fantastic New Year!

I would say to not watch things like that I night. I`m bad for that too. I don`t think there is anything wrong with feeling sad about it. They all did terrible things but it`s still human life and it`s still important. If you need to talk feel free to message me. :)

i think it's just the fact that you're alive and that they aren't that got to you. i'm not demeaning how you feel or anything.. i'm just saying maybe that's it..

how about thinking about it this way?
this sadness you're feeling? this is you being human. because no one can really feel like detached and stuff when they see someone die. when they know that one person is dying, no matter how evil they were, it's kind of a given that some feelings of pity might arise.. stay strong. cry it out. hug a pillow if there's no one else around.

:) i hope this helps.. have a nice day.