How can I help my boyfriend without worsening myself?

Hello,

By worsening, i mean returning to my depressed state.

My boyfriend and I have an excellent relationship, and without any exterior conflict we would be fine. But that’s especially impossible.

He has been having the worst time with school, it’s pushed him to the brink of exhaustion, kept him constantly ill and tired, and is driving his last nerve. The amount of money he needs to spend on it is very daunting, and I see him sinking into 40,000 dollars of debt, and by the time he’s done it;l probably be 80,000, which is a lot for Canada. He never spends money on himself, and i’ve been paying for all i can, with food, gas, insurance, and rent when i can, though my job doesn’t cover everything i wish it did.

I see him break into tears much too often compared to how he used to be. And now, he had a light fender bender on a super pricey car, and the woman is claiming the scratch. I don’t want him to fall apart.

I know there’s no solution to everything, but is there anything I can do to stay strong for him? When I get stressed, i snap, i get anxious and i cry. He can’t take that right now, but i have no one in vancouver to talk to about it.

What do you suggest for me to help him, or to stay strong?

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Sarahlolz

2 Answers

H Sarah- I'm sorry you're in this situation, it sounds very difficult and I'm proud of you for wanting to help him out, and trying very hard to help financially, know you're a really supportive and strong girlfriend, he's very lucky to have you. I would suggest just having a night in with him, if he has homework, offer to help him with it. Just have a night in, watch a movie, get some good food and just sit and cuddle and tell him it'll be okay. How much longer does he have in school? Just tell him it'll eventually be over and once it is he won't have to stress out so much. Is he healthy nutritionally? I drink a detox tea every morning to strengthen my immune system and I take vitamins, you could make him tea every now and then and get some vitamin C supplements. You could also get ginseng- which is a natural herb for energy production. I think he'll feel better once his body is in a good condition which is something that's hard to maintain while school is getting tough. Also go for a run together or something, maybe a bike ride, maybe just take long walks together. That good sense of solitude with eachother is really good for the soul, and it gets the heart rate up which can also help ensure he's staying healthy. I've been in a similar situation before- If you want to talk more about it or if you have more specific questions, feel free to message me alright?

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Venus

516

Okay, First take a deep breath and talk to him in a calm and nice way. In every problem there is a solution. It's just your negative thoughts eats you. So don't mind the problem if you can't solve it. Just Do what is right and what will do good and Pray and Trust God.

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Stephen Cruz