help? My dad’s wife is crazzzy

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ok here is the whole story….My dad married this woman when i was 12 or 13 and honestly she is the worst person ive ever known. She use to yell at me for coming out of my room that she didnt want to see me. She would call my mom a whore in front of my face then say how ugly my mom was and that i looked just like her.One night i wanted to go to my grandmas and she said i could if i did the dishes so i did except one pot that still had food in it . When i got home there was food all over the floor from where she had gotten mad and slung it she made me it up and said i was lazy and disrespectful. i wasnt allowed to sleep on the couch or use the computer when i lived with them i basically stayed in my room for 5 years. It was the worst time in my life. When i was 17 she and my sister got into a fight and she kept screaming how SPOILED we were…i left that day moved in with my older sister…a couple of years went by and i moved away to another state i havnt seen or spoken to her in years even when ive seen my father (which isnt very much) and my life has been better for it…. me and my sister want to have a relationship with our father but she makes it impossible she still does awful awful things. My sister doesn’t want her kids anywhere around her (for good reasons) but this just made her angry…we found out that “someone” called DHS on my sister and we KNOW it was her my sister is a WONDERFUL mother =( she is crazy ….i dont understand why she hates us and is trying to ruin my sisters life…my sister has tried talking with my father but he doesnt do anything he just says he is gonna leave her but he never does….i feel bad for my sister….should i talk to my dad? …what do i do ….im 23 and my sister is 26 she is still trying to bring us down ….i feel like ive gotten away…but my sister is in pain

asked July 30, 2015

1 Answer

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Hey Brooke, I'm really sorry to hear about the hard times you've had with this woman around, she sounds like a vile person and it's a shame you, your sister and your dad has had to put up with her.

There's no right way to go about this, a lot of this depends on how she treats your dad too. It's completely and utterly unfair for her to treat the two of you (maybe three, if dad too) this way, to me, it sounds like she's a very bitter and jealous individual that is lashing out at you because she knows she can get away with it.

I would suggest trying to find a time where she's not around, and then you and your sister meet up with him, talk about how life has been since you've left and about her kids and what he's missing out on. If he's in an abusive relationship and he needs help with it, then he's going to require both of you to support him through this, I would also get him some professional help to assist him in getting out of this relationship (depending on where you're located - let me know and I can get some details for you).

If, however, she's actually completely fine with him and he's just not bothered to say something to her then I would suggest you try your best to move on - blood doesn't necessarily make you family. It's unconditional love and wiliness to do so much for someone - even if it hurts - to keep them safe and as happy as possible.

I'd like to help you more here, so if you do reply - highlight me with @michaeluk or drop me a private message.

Sending you all strength.

Michael