Grandmother wont speak to me…

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So I will try to keep this long story short. Im 23 years old and until 2 years ago my grandmother and I got along okay. 2 years ago i met my husband(married almost 2 months now). When i met him she hadn’t even met him or heard anything about him but hated him. We didnt talk for over a year ( i never got an answer to why she wouldnt talk to me, i tried to talk to her and never got answer) and at xmas 2014 i got invited through my mother to xmas, My husband(bf at the time) and i went and my grandmother and I acted like everything was fine. We just kinda agreed to disagreed about what had happened and we let it go. Everything was fine for about 2 months. During those 2 months a lot happened, first, I got engaged. She was happy about that. Then my grandmothers bf of 12 years (basically my grandfather) die suddenly. After seeing that my husband and I didnt want to wait to get married. Louis her bf, died in feb. In may my husband and i told everyone that we wanted to get married in aug. My grandmother was happy. My mom, my grandmother and i all talked about wedding stuff. Then 3 weeks before the wedding i find out, through my mother, that my grandmother is not coming because she is mad at me for having the wedding so soon after louis’s death. My grandmother at that point would no talk to me. I called and texted and finally a week before the wedding I got her to answer my call and all she did was yell nonsense she would not listen to me. After we got off the phone i sent her a long text telling her i love her and i want to work this out. I told her i didnt care that she wasn’t coming to my wedding. Since then she wont speak to me. My mom, my grandmother and family friends all go out and do things that now i am no allowed to come to due to my grandmother no speaking to me. I wasn’t even invited to my brother birthday dinner. This has put a strain on my mother and i friendship. She wont let me vent to her about how i feel. And when i try to she acts like I am hurting her feelings. I do not have friends, I work a lot and i guess people aren’t okay with just a text/email friendship. Any tips on this would be amazing. I just mad about the whole thing. Im just worried that my grandmother wont speak to me again. After losing her bf and not telling him how much he meant to me, the thought of losing my grandmother with her not speaking to me worries me.

Category: asked October 2, 2015

1 Answer

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My best advice would be to leave them all be for now. Granted, your grandmother lost someone special to her, but she's still being immature about this, and so is your mother for practically blowing you off; her own child. Family drama is common, and eventually it tends to pass, depending on how bad the situation is. Give it some time before you make any more moves. After awhile, you could try talking with your grandmother again. Try to help her understand your side, and ask her to help you understand her side, too. Do the same with your mother, if need be. Communication is key, but if it doesn't work at first, giving it time is a good idea. But don't push; if they refuse to talk and be civil, you can't force them to be. I understand how stressful the situation is, and how much harder it can be because it's family, so I really hope that things work out for the best.