Grandma dying.. Please help

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Hi,
I’m 14 and my grandma has been diagnosed with cancer for quite a while. Over the past month, she has gotten worse. She can’t walk, she can’t swallow her pills, she’s not eating properly and she won’t go to the hospital (she’s living in a hospice). I am very scared and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t had anyone close to me die before. Please just talk.. Anyone.

Category: Tags: asked April 7, 2013

3 Answers

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Do you have any other adults around that can help persuade her to go to a doctor or help her take her medication? I can only imagine all she is going through, and if you feel she isn't mentally stable as a result of it, you may need to get someone else to come help you with her. If you do feel she is stable, then you just have to respect her wishes. Many cancer patients hate the chemo and treatments so much that they prefer to stop fighting; which is hard to be mad at them for because it is tough.Everything will be alright. All you can do right now is love her and show her that. You will never truly lose her, even if it feels that way due to her illness. The flesh isn't the end of our existence; its through the heart that we give each other value in this life. You are a strong person for being with her throughout all this, and she is very thankful for having such a grand-daughter. If you just want to vent and ramble about all your feelings, feel free to message me or even add me on skype (poet.blight). I know how it feels to lose someone close, and it will take some time to feel stronger as a result of this experience, but you will be fine. Just don't fight your feelings about being sad in this situation. You being sad just shows how much she means to you, and to not let yourself express that is to not honor what she is to you.
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These kind of situations can be extremely painful to go through. It's going to cause a lot of disruption to your normality. Encountering big problems like these can often send other areas of our life into a bit of a tailspin. External factors (like our work, health, finances and relationships) can all suffer indirectly as a result of our attempts to cope. Sometimes our coping methods can actually cause additional problems in other unrelated areas.Try and be mindful of how you choose to 'vent-this-pressure' you're currently experiencing. Focus on venting in a positive manner. What you've just done (sharing your problem with others online) is great example of venting in a positive way. It's unlikely that you'll encounter an negative side-effects from doing this.What you don't want to be doing right now is engaging in negative activities. Nor do you want to take on additional responsibilities, challenges or commitments You have a lot to deal with right now, and so you're in no position to handle other knocks in life.The reason why I say this is quite simple. If you can maintain stability elsewhere in your life, then you stand a better chance of everything getting better for you, as time has a very powerful ability to heal all. The last thing you need right now is for this current challenge to cause additional problems for you.Always ask yourself whether the activities you're currently engaged in, will damage one of the following areas of Work, Friends and Family, Health and Finances. Lastly, always try your best to remain stable everywhere else in life. Keep everything else as normal as possible.Whatever happens, you'll ride through it eventually.
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My grandmother died recently from cancer. I found that I needed to be around people and I talk a lot about it.I suggest talking to her about all the memories you have with her will be a good idea. Think of the things you really wanna say to her. Tell her how much you love her. When she passes, you'll be glad you did.And find your own way with coping. Talk to people about it. Talking about it really does help! Contact me if you need to talk with someone who's experiencing the same thing :)