A friend started confiding to me about his work and family problems a few months ago. We got really close and started talking for hours for a couple nights, at a bar and hanging outside. We then started texting very regularly. We had a nice texting relationship for a couple months, and I really looked forward to hearing from him. Our families are friends and hang out periodically and talk in person too.
Then about two months ago, he stopped texting as frequently. He would occasionally ignore my texts but text me a day or two later about something related to him. He is was not always this selfish, sometimes he was a supportive and thoughtful friend. He called and checked on me several times, for instance.
However, his texting has tapered off to almost nothing. However, when we do get together he seems normal. And he still wants to complain to me about his job and wife.
I also know from talking to his wife, who is also my good friend, that, he texts other people sometimes…just not me.
I’m hurt and disappointed by this. I also feel a little used. I wonder if he only became closer friends with me to complain about his wife.
I also wonder if I pushed him away by being too eager to text and communicate.
I often shared issues I was having with work that were similar to his, so that we would have something to talk about.
I have actually mentioned to him more than once that I noticed he’s not texting as much. This is not really changed anything. In fact, he texts me less than ever.
(You’d think I take a hint, but, when this friends is actually giving me his attention, he’s a great friend. He’s either all or nothing.
So, what to do…
I partly want to call him on the fact that he doesn’t text me any more but still obviously texts others, and express my sadness and jealousy (I’ll say it! I’m very jealous) at this.
I partly want to tell him, the next time he starts complaining or venting to me, that I don’t want to hear it if he’s not going to talk to me any other time.
I partly want to stop talking to him completely, and treat him like a stranger the next time we’re together, because I’m hurt and angry that he’s dropped me as a friend this way.
What to do?