“friends”

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So i have (or had) some friends at school. Next year im goin to a new one. I guess im boring person so all my contacts with those friends were going down from like january. Now we dont chat at all. In april i got a new expensive phone. One of those friends started rlly taking lots of photos w me with my phone and asking to send them to her later. It feels like one thing holding us togheter was this phone. So she was kinda acting like a friend to me. But in may i suggested to go to the beach sometime with other friends(which i didnt realy talk to back then too) and i saw how confussed she got. She then said that others and she is thinking that theyre planning to meet every month next year after school(cause were all going to different ones). So yeah she just didnt answer me. I saw how stressed she got when she needed to respond me. And she got stressed because SHE WAS ALREADY GOING TO THE BEACH WITH THOSE OTHER FRIENDS. I realized that when seconds after our chat other friend came and asked about their trip to the beach. I just felt like hit with the Rock to the heart. Like shes acting almost like a bestie when im with phone. Im not even saying how many times that other friend had insulted me in the past. Maybe thats why im so quiet?also in june they had a meet all and uploaded a pic to the fb. Im so lonely this summer

Category: Tags: asked July 1, 2014

5 Answers

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I think it's just perfect that you'll all go to different schools. That's the right moment to leave those fake friends alone and look for new friends at your new school. You absolutely don't need to be afraid not to make new friends there. It could take some months, but I'm pretty sure you won't stay friendless. The best receipt: be yourself. Do not try to look more interesting, or to look more vulnerable. That will only give you other fake friends. I don't say you aren't being yourself, but it just is a possible danger at a new school that you could start acting different. In my opinion you just have to think straightforward, leave your current 'friends' as soon as possible and make new friends at your new school. I think it's better to be alone this summer than being with fake friends.
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First of all, I would like to let you know that I completely understand how you're feeling. I spent the entire semester of my junior year of high school barely hanging on to one friend from a group of friends that I had previously been apart of. It's understandable that you're feeling lonely, but I promise that this period of feeling alone is going to pass.I would like to remind you that you do not owe these "friends" <i anything. If they are being crappy and making you feel lonely and shut out, you do NOT owe it to them to stick around. The person that you DO owe something to is yourself - you owe it to yourself to build healthy relationships that are going to better your social standard of living. Sometimes in order to find and create new, healthy relationships, we need to cut the cords on the ones that are bringing us down. Now I'm not telling you to dump every friend who you ever disagree with, but in this situation (a situation where the same person/people are repeatedly proving themselves to be bad friends and making you feel used and left out) I firmly believe that it would be best to sever your connection with these people. If you had a tumor in your arm, you wouldn't keep the arm around despite the harm that it's doing to your body. You would remove the arm and (pretending you had all the money in the world) replace it with a new, cool, robotic arm that could shoot lasers and lift 100x its own weight!You should never feel lonely around the people you spend time with. And remember that just because you might be lonely before you find NEW friends, doesn't mean you're going to be alone! You'll still have your family and the entire world of the internet here to listen to you and entertain you until you find new, better people to build new, better relationships with.
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HI Anna,I have a step daughter that is about your age and i go through this every year with her through the school year and even in the summer. Now things for her may be a little different as she goes between her mothers and here with her father and I. I would like to tell you some of the same things i tell her. Life is and experience for which we learn and grow from. The different trials and tribulations we go through make us who we are and who we will become. You may feel lost and lonely now, but that isn't for ever. Friends can come a dime a dozen you can find them in every turn you make, but remember one thing. A true friend is very hard to come by and when you find those true friends we want to keep hold of them. You are young search inside yourself and find your personality and your sense of being this will show you who you are. You are who you are and there are im sure many people in this world that would love your time and company. A true friend will be there when you laugh smile or cry. They will be the one/ones that hold you up when you feel down make you smile when you frown. They will not be there for you because you have the latest phone on the market and that is what makes you cool to them nor will they make snickers about you behind your back or call you names. True friends will tell you when they don't like what you have done and you may have bickers between you, but at the end of the day that friend will still stand by your side no matter what. I hope this helps and this is just my opinion and feelings on the matter.
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New school next year? Great! Ditch those bad friends and get yourself some REAL ones! I understand that summer can be lonely when you don't have friends to help you. Try meeting people at the pool and stuff. Or join a summer art class, or something else youre interested in. You could look for volunteer oppurtunities. Just remember: summer is usually not one of those paradise-y times like they show in the movies. It might get kinda boring and lonely. But next year will be a great fresh start! And you'll get friends who appreciate you for you, not your phone.
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After reading your story, I have some questions: have you introduced yourself to the group? Have you approached them all together and asked them if you could tag along? Have you put time into getting to know anyone apart from the one girl who likes to take pictures on your phone?