I HAVE ASKED THIS BEFORE!!!! So I apologize, but I would like some advice again.
I’ve asked this before, but I would like to hear what other people have to say. I currently room with a girl I was acquaintances with in my senior year of high school, and who I roomed with last year, our first year of college. Back in October, my roommate/friend suddenly started ignoring me and stopped getting lunch/dinner with me (which is something we used to do all the time). She ignored me for a week straight, and then broke the silence by saying:
“Can you go somewhere during the nights on weekdays and weekends because I feel like you’re in here all the time. I feel like you only leave to eat or go to class. I need my alone time.”
I have a lot of difficult classes and I also work. I’m an introvert, so after a day of class and work I’m EXHAUSTED. So, in my down time I like to lay in my bed and watch Netflix and browse the internet. I finish all my homework at the library and never in the dorm room. I sit quietly with my headphones in and I do NOT do anything to disturb her. I admittedly do not have a lot of friends at college, but I don’t mind it and I am happy just being here to learn.
I have tried to stay out as much as possible. I recently told her about my therapist back home and how I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I broke down crying. The only reason I told her was so she would understand I don’t act the way I do just for the purpose of annoying her. However, I still feel unsafe and unwelcome in my own dorm room. I hate being in here when she is in here, but I don’t want to feel like I can’t be in my OWN ROOM that I pay for simply because she would rather listen to music when I’m not around.
I once came back late one night and she told me she had just sat in her bed motionless for 5 and 1/2 hours “doing nothing”. So why is it ok for her to sit around in her bed, but not for me?
What should I do? I have a lot of anxiety about the situation. I sit quietly and never interrupt her if I know she is doing something. I know my idea of experiencing college is different from hers (in that she wants to drink and party and hang out with people CONSTANTLY or else she’s bored, whereas I like to sit in my room and relax and focus on my studies and try and get as much rest as possible. I am not easily bored.)
She’s starting to get really angry with me again, and I think she’s probably going to tell me I’m in here too much again. I need advice on how to deal with this situation–people easily walk all over me and I can’t stand up for myself. I need ideas of what to say to her if she confronts me!!! Thank you!
