Does he love me?

(19/f/usa)
So my boyfriend and I started to date since this February (we were best friends from the start of college, so like September-ish). We both go to the same college, and just finished our first year. He is a wonderful person, and treats me very very well, and we completely trust each other. He never really pays any attention to other girls, or makes me feel insecure in any way. However, we haven’t said I love you to each other yet… although it has been 4 months. We started off with, “I really really like you. Do you want to go out with me?” and then never really mentioned it again. But he did say once (before we parted for summer) that he more than just likes me. I do love him, but I don’t want to push things too fast for him. So I am wondering if he does love me. He has planned to go on a vacation with me this august (it’s finalized) and then has made a list of places he wants to go to/ things he wants to do together (some of them are like goals for the long run) and keeps on adding things to the list. He tells me that I make him the happiest guy, and has told his family about me. Today, he said really wonderful things to me on chat (we are staying apart for a bit over summer)

I can paste it:
“My girlfriend (so I) is beautiful. She’s really awesome to date makes you feel really good about yourself. She’s a really a very nice person but really fun too. She’s cool to hangout with and has a good sense of humor. Did I mention how much I respect her work ethic? But she knows how to party too; work hard play hard! It’s pretty awesome. Plus she wants to do something really good with her life it seems. Just saying my girlfriend is pretty great. “

He said all this very fast, in like 30 seconds after we skyped.
He always wants to hug me/ cuddle with me in a very sweet way, buys me flowers on special occasions, likes taking me out on dates. But again, we haven’t said I love you yet…
So I keep on wondering if he has fallen in love with me yet, cause I do love him at this point. We are both abstaining from sex before marriage btw (my choice, but he respects that. We are also each other’s first bf/gf). He always makes sure to say sorry if anything ever upsets me, and never does that again. He never likes to see tears in my eyes, even if it’s from me staring at the computer screen for too long.

Also, will it be weird of me to say I love you at some point? After a very nice evening or something? And do you think he loves me? I feel veery loved around him… I sure do hope he does too.

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Anonymous

1,181

3 Answers

It sure seems like it! Some ppl just aren't comfortable with voicing there feeling and I think it can especially be hard for guys. If you love him I'd go ahead and tell him, even if he docent say it back right away it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you he's showing it with actions not words. I'd say your a lucky girl, there are lots of guys who would tell a girl they love her to get in her pants, your guy respects you and must also respect the true meaning if real love not to have said it flippantly in the beginning . Good luck I hope this helps

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Jen

In my honest opinion really liking someone and loving someone are the same thing. Maybe he's not ready to say 'I love you yet' since that kind of permanent, but I don't know I think that a good relationship is just a deep friendship with someone. Not being a romantic person I just think we made up the concept of 'love' equating that to a deep friendship. Anyway, I'm assuming you do believe in the concept of love so like I said it's a big step to say that and obviously he cares about you. I wouldn't worry about it, he will say it when he is ready just let him have that moment. In the meantime don't stress out about it, just enjoy the relationship you have.

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bricheese

3,768

Well, isn't that just the dickens! If he hasn't said the big "L" word yet, consider yourself lucky! I typically don't like getting all soft, but you may have a keeper here. Seems like he's just waiting for the perfect time to say it and doesn't want to dilute the meaning of the word by spreading it around like nutella on a skillet.

If a guy says that shit in the beginning of the relationship and kind of tosses that verbage around, he probably definitely doesn't mean it, so you're in the clear considering he hasn't. I'm sure he's just aching to say it but considering it looks like he wants to be in this for the long-haul, slow and steady wins the race...

Though IF I'm being honest, I'm pretty sure you already know that this guy loves you, but you just want to hear it from a stranger(s). Which is cool I guess.. What it sounds like you guys have is euphoric to my ears, two lovers waiting for marriage to bind themselves intimately. It's a rare occurrence, and I do hope you abide by it and don't allow lust, emotions, and peer pressure to get the best of you.

-Fark

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fark

1,162