Does anybody agree with polyamory?

It is okay to feel polomary! I myself often feel that way. And it is a-okay! Don't be pressured to have monogamous feelings. Feelings are things you shouldn't analyze or be sorry for. You can't help the way your heart beats.

Sounds like you're simply not happy in your current relationship but understandably don't really want to let the relationship go. I don't know how common this scenario is but I have heard of someone in a similar situation to yours (married but she doesn't feel like her husband really connects with her in the way that she desires/needs so wants to seek out another relationship in addition). So all that said, I can understand your frustration. But honestly, I think it's only fair to the both of you to sort it out since I don't think it's what he signed up for and he will probably only continue to repress his true feelings in order to keep you. But if he doesn't want to lose your heart then he has to be willing to communicate with you better and support you. I'm not in your relationship so I obviously don't know all the details. If you want a better relationship with him maybe you could suggest counseling if you haven't tried to sort it out for yourselves already. I hope you figure things out.

To me it sounds like you are not happy and you just want to be relieved and cared for. I don't thin there is anything wrong with your decision but you may come across a problem in regards to people liking you because f multiple relationships. So be carful as you talk to more people because you don't want they to be prejudice and make false assumptions bout you.

i am ready to embrace a polyamorous life...but i have always been happiest in a trio... i want a closed triad.. but attaining this seems...impossible.

mfm i have a husband and bf now...but bf is waiting for a monogamous relationship..he wants the american dream... i want a different version.

ah hm.. hubby is trying to be accepting...but he has lied to me along the way and idk how much to trust what he says he feels... im questioning his ability to be happy in this arrangement... like i may need to start over from scratch :(

i felt like i couldnt be happy with one person... like i am happier with another... someone more like me than my husband...my hubby is rly quite opposite me.. and i craved that kindred connection... but i still love my husband.. the word polyamory was first introduced to me a few months ago and the more i learn about it the more i love it. my only problem is my own jealousy..

yeah...definitely theres that. i dont know...i cant be happy with the one i have... because he doesnt get me...he cant relate to me or understand what im going through..and tends to just make it worse.. it hurts to think about being with someone else though...without him..

as long youre respectful... live and let live.. i dont agree with everyone else's ways of life either, i totally agree though, leave me out of it if it has nothing to do with me.

Okay well, yes we are actually married. I got married at 19.I am not trying to make a choice between being polyamorous or monogamous...at heart i am and always will be polyamorous. Just like my husband will always be a monogamous. the two are not meant to mix, but he and have always been opposites attracted to each other..if anyone can make it work we can. My questioning here was more, guilt for wanting to live as what I am...not have to hide it or repress it.. i still feel guilty..unsure if i should pursue this lifestyle.. but it is who i am... nothing can change that. counseling might be nice if we could afford it... and if i found a good counselor..i am picky.. because i am complex..i have to have to be xP

I am totally for it! Not having been in this kind of relatonship. But I beleive that with each new person you love you get a bigger heart to make room, not having to take away the space of others, but making mire room for more love. My mom becane poly when i was little, i am happy to have a differ of personalities in my home. There is no need for jealousy or hate in a different policy of love!

Some of y'all's responses have me a little confused.I feel like i am far from my original question now..

Seems you went into a marriage before you fully understood what you wanted in life love-wise and now it's hurting your marriage. You want to be with two men but your husband just wants it to be the two of you. But you don't want to be in a relationship if your husband isn't a part of it. Very tricky. I am in no way approving of divorce short of one of the partners being abusive, but I'm not really seeing a compromising solution with this. Either you or your husband (or both) will have to make a tough decision. You somehow find enough satisfaction with a monogamous marriage, or the two of you find someone that your Husband can be okay with. And even though you said it would pain you to be in a relationship without your husband, that's still option three. I'm not trying to be rude or harsh I'm sorry, don't take it that way.

Okay, so an update. I am not living a poly lifestyle, but re-committed to my husband, so to speak. I maintain that i am poly, but don't act on my feelings, and don't feed into crushes. But now i feel like i am sacrificing everything for him. as i've said all along, it seems one of us has to give up everything, which always leaves one of us feeling cheated, like we love the other but they don't love us. i can't find a compromise, though i'm desperately looking for one because i haven't stopped loving and wanting to be with him, but now i find myself feeling resentment towards him. :( Because he made me chose. Be myself, or keep my marriage. and i keep reading these quotes about true love conquering all. and we've been pretty good at getting trough impossible situations, but i can't fix things this time. i can only bury my feelings, or risk losing everything my life is, risk losing him and having to live the rest of my life longing for him... cuz i know i'll never stop loving him.

i hate how this stuff is rearrange by rating. i get why, but responses get lost along the way. just wanted to say what i thought i had said already and that is that i see my jealousy as a flaw. i know how to not let it form in new relationships, but all things considered with my husband, i have to undo my jealousy, and that's a lot harder. My "not letting him pursue polyamory" is not really that, he does not want to pursue it, and i argue against pushing it on him. i don't want to change him anymore than i want him to try and change me. i don't just want a monogamist i have one, thats what he is, i dont tell him he has to be.

In my opinion, I think this is something you guys should sit down in a group and discuss about. Obviously you have some conflict of which type to choose and that's perfectly fine. Be able to talk to them and see where things are able to go if you were to engage yourself into polyamory. Other than that, just be sure to respect boundaries and you should be fine.

its really a personal decision of yours, as long as you are being honest with everyone you are involved with i dont see it as bad!

Hello again, Rain.

Although contemporary society is based around the monogamist model, the validity of polgamy and polyamory are no less true. It is completely natural to fall into deep, honest love with more than one person at one time. "True love" is not a one-bullet gun that, once fired, can never be reloaded, and it is a travesty that this is precisely the sentiment that is touted by such a large margin of society, to include Hollywood and literature.

There is nothing wrong with your feelings, and the idea that polyamory is somehow immoral is absurd, but the posters before me have made a very vaid point; you should resolve yourself of your husband's mind concerning your shared polyamory to avoid any further difficulty or potential damage to the relationship. Plus, it is simply the respectful thing to do.

Please keep in contact and let us know how things go. Never forget that you matter, and you are not alone.

First, I want to say that I agree with Vivid Melody. Now for my viewpoint: Though I don't agree with polyamory, it's your life and it isn't killing anyone. Biologically, we're supposed to be monogamous, and some would actually argue promiscuous (look both terms up along with the word 'biological' or in biological aspects or you might get way too many definitions that don't relate to the scientific meaning). However, I can also say that my opinion on this topic is considerably biased due to the fact that our society was based on two people being in a relationship and working together to be in love and compromise and create a relationship that isn't toxic (well, today, the concept of a relationship has gone down the drain, but that's another story). Plus the fact that putting more people into a relationship isn't necessarily wise (just expressing my opinion...which is again biased, but by trust issues). I also think that you should really think about what you want to get into, and if you have doubts about your husband's opinion, then he's probably not completely okay with this decision. Again, I'm not hating on polyamory, but I wouldn't want that for myself because it's hard enough dealing with one guy and I want to find the one who I can truly connect with (well, if I ever find hope for love again, which isn't likely at this point). Plus, I'm not very trusting, and the more people, the more issues.
Whatever you decide, just remember that your husband's opinion counts too, I mean, you married him and vowed to stay with him through sickness and health and whatever else you say at a marriage ceremony (sorry, I don't know much about weddings--never was a fan). TO CLOSE THIS, I WILL SAY, ANYONE'S VIEWS ON POLYAMORY WON'T CHANGE MY VIEW ON THEM NEGATIVELY. IT'S JUST ANOTHER IDEA (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD...?) OF LOVE, AND THAT'S FINE. But some people might not like it and react terribly to it, so be careful who you tell. I hope I didn't offend. Have a good night.
Edit One: By the way, did he know you were polyamory? And I'm glad you take his own opinion seriously. :) Maybe you should work on your marriage for now? Don't know.. Good luck on your situation :)

I myself am pretty much polyamorous too. Monogamy is a myth, it is rare in nature and is enforced on humans mainly because of religion.