This might be a little complicated but I will do what I can.
For the past 6 years or so, I have been suffering from depression and as much as I try to think positive about myself and about life in general, it feels like it is just getting worse. I am 20 and I live with my father. I have Aspergers Syndrome (Severe according to my mental examiners), Hydrocephalus (Currently managed), and tons of anxiety and social problems. Due to this stuff, I get SSI, I cannot drive, and I honestly cannot live alone. I try to be happy though. I try to appreciate the simple things in life. I have a child-like personality so I try to do that.
I just feel so depressed though. I suppose it is due to many factors, but I just feel so inferior to others. I have a problem with comparing myself with other people and it can really bring me down. I also have a ton of anxiety and fear of the future. I am always looking ahead and being afraid of what could happen. Will I be able to stay sustained? Will I be completely alone? Things like that. I barely have any friends so that is a a thought on my mind as well. I feel like I am unworthy of others.
I try to be happy. I live a simple life, and I honestly like a simple life. I just wish I could stop being so depressed all the time. It is so difficult to block these thoughts out though. I know that this probably does not make sense. I am very bad at wording things. I just want to be happy with who I am. Self acceptance is a concept that I truly love but I never seem to follow it myself. Many have given me advice, but I just never seem to think of it when things go rough on my mind.
My apologies if this is complex, but I thank you for reading. Also, I am unsure what category this belongs to.
