I’m 22, talking to another girl who is 22. We’ve known each other since HS but didn’t really start hanging out until last year. At first I just thought she was chill and very laid back, and I was just coming from a very stressful relationship, so any feelings I had I just dismissed because I figured I just liked her because she was nice to me in comparison to a prior girlfriend. But as time went on, I learned more about her, on deeper levels, and I truly enjoy everything about this girl. I just feel like I’m ‘me’ when she’s around.
Unfortunately there are some problems. A very minor problem is that she is graduating this weekend, and because I’m a double major, I still have a year to go. Secondly is that I’m studying abroad next semester and leaving next month, so the timing of this epiphany isn’t ideal. Thirdly (and most importantly), my ex-gf is in her friend group, and granted my ex-gf is moving to NY in a month (we’re in IL), the girl I’m talking to has explicitly said that even on a friend level sometimes it feels stressful to be just friends with me and friends with my ex (my ex doesn’t really know that I’ve been talking to this girl everyday for the last several months).
So here’s how it plays out in my head; before I go abroad, I casually say “you should consider letting me take you out on a date when I get back”. This isn’t asking to date, it’s not saying “I love you”, because after X amount of years of dating I know that you don’t actually love someone until you’re quite a ways into the relationship, but I think it’s a good way of saying that being friends is fine but I have bigger plans in store. Along with if she really has no interest (which to be honest, I’m having trouble reading this girl, she’s very shy but has opened up a lot towards me and I know she doesn’t talk to anyone else everyday, yet at the same time she’s very stand-offish so it’s a coin toss) then just asking to go on ONE date isn’t going to ruin our friendship (hopefully), it can be shrugged off if she’s not interested.
At least that’s what I think. I’d love to hear people’s thoughts, concerns, advice, etc etc. I’m at that age now where I can understand the value of an intelligent, independent women and that not everything is based off visual appearance. Luckily she excels in both categories.
Thank you all for your time, I hope to return the favor sometime soon!
