Changes in friendships?

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I’ve been living in France for the past 3 months and it’s been great, I’ve loved it (I still have 5 more months left). I’ve gained confidence, new friends and experience. I came home for a couple of weeks over christmas/new year and that was lovely too. I saw my friends and family, went out a few times and got rather drunk.

The problem is, although I was actually feeling content and enjoying myself my 2 closest friends confronted me and said that I’ve been acting selfish and that I’ve been using my confidence in the wrong way, one of them even said that she felt that I had ‘one up’ on her because I’m doing this great thing even though she’s in university doing what she loves (she’s always been the confident, loud and outgoing one and rarely hesitates to share her opinion, which isn’t always a good thing) I’ve never even thought of it that way. I just feel like I can’t be myself and talk about what I’ve been up to or how I’m feeling incase they take it the wrong way.

I know this is a long and confusing one but if anyone can give me some advice I’d be very greatful.

Category: Tags: asked January 14, 2014

3 Answers

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You should talk with your friends about how you feel and maybe you could placate each other, even if you are worried about their reaction because isn't it far better to know how they really feel rather than carry on in the dark? - to be honest though it sounds like at least one of your friends is being selfish themselves because they aren't supporting your newfound confidence as good friends should. In my opinion, it sounds like they are jealous of your amazing opportunity and you should keep basking in that proud and happy feeling you get of doing something you enjoy in a wonderful place :) after speaking with them and if they still don't change their tune maybe you are better off staying friends with your French friends instead of the ones you speak of :/ I'm sorry if it has to come to that but you don't need those kind of people in your life - they'll only make you feel worse about any achievements you gain in the future - you will enjoy life much more without their negative emotions. Good luck! :)
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People changes when they live in different places exposed to different kind of society and etc.. Sometimes we wont realise that we have change to the better or the worse..and sometimes only a friend could tell us the answer.. Maybe you should phone you friend and ask her to hang out with you ... To collect back old memories that made you "you".. Put aside your ego and pride, listen to her... there is no right or wrong. Its just acceptance...
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Oh gosh, France! WOW! ^_^ And, boy...do I know what you're talking about or what. I too had friends who I felt I couldn't quite be myself around or I'd be judged or judged more than I already was! Since then I have gotten rid of those people. Or, they have gotten rid of me... But, it actually was the best thing to happen. My Brain tells me that it all happened as it should have. But my Heart still tells me that I miss them. Well, I often listen to my Brain. ^_^ So...what can I say? I can say that though it was a very dark time for me, I did get over losing my Best Friends, when I started feeling the impact it made... I was HAPPY again! I felt better not being judged and confronted at all times. And I re-connected with other friends I never really spoke to much, but, now we're Best Friends and are taking a trip together! So, please! Please! ~ Just get away from those negative judgmental people! Do what makes you happy at all costs, because even if at the end of the day you have no one to share it with, your happiness is worth so much more! I also apologize for this being SO long! I am very bad at keeping things short! But, much love to you and hope that any decisions you make do work out in the long run. ~ <3