Hello, for the last 12+ years I have been in a relationship (married 11 years to) a woman with borderline personality disorder. During the first 1-2 years of marriage, she forced me to drop all friends and family, all hobbies/interests outside of hers, and was consistently verbally abusive. After trying a number of ‘shrinks’ I finally found a counselor who after a few years who didn’t say “leave her immediately”, and who helped me get over the PTSD and depression resulting from the abuse. My wife has for the most part improved her behavior since then, and become better adjusted and social, but her bad(BPD) behavior is still around–just simply confined to the part of her life involving me. We have a son and I am (obviously) committed to staying with her, but she refuses to get any help, and blames me for “being miserable”. She has recently stated that I am now the opposite of all that she respects/likes, and it is irrelevant that I have tolerated her oppressive behaviour for so many years, since I am now too hurt to be useful/help her much psychologically.
Any hints, anyone?
I’m well beyond my wits’ end (as of several years ago).