Am I autistic?

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This is a very serious question, I’m not kidding.

So, recently my mother has been telling me that certain things I do are “bizzare” and “autistic,” namely the facts that I don’t like being touched unless the person who wants to do so either asks me or is a super close friend, and that I tend to hide behind my phone in social situations (I’m fairly certain that I have some kind of anxiety). A while ago, she told me to “do a self-evaluation” and I fit a lot of the criteria, but I don’t know if I’m actually autistic or if I just think I fit the criteria when really I don’t. (See, this is where the anxiety comes in. <_< )

I'm an introvert while my mother is most definitely an extrovert, so that might be why she doesn't understand why I don't like being hugged. She thinks it's "bizzare" that I don't like being spontaneously tackle-hugged by my gross little sister eight times a day, and she makes fun of me because I used to let my ex hug me and I do let my best friend hug me.

Aside from not liking to be touched, I have trouble reading facial expressions and tone of voice, I can't empathize with people (if they tell me something bad happened to them, all I can do is sort of stand there and say "Oh"), I get frustrated incredibly easily to the point of one time I almost cried because my mother did a crappy job of painting my nails and she wouldn't let me touch up the spots she missed, I tend to take things literally, I’m hypersensitive especially to smells, and I know almost everything there is to know about dragons (or at least, I used to, I fell out of it a little after high school dragged my attention away).

I don't have any speech problems and according to my mother I have above-average intelligence (however I don't know how true that is; I'm almost failing Trig).

This is a serious question, I'm concerned. Am I actually Autistic/Asperger's or am I stressing about nothing? The only reason I'm worried is because of what my mother said, should I have just ignored her? She said something like "If you are, it's okay, but you need to find out if you are so that you can cope." While I disagree with the necessity of "coping" — like hell I'm gonna change the way I am to make other people more comfortable around me, I don't stop being queer either — I can't tell if she actually thinks I'm autistic or if she was just being like that to guilt me into trying to fit more into her definition of "normal".

EDIT: Surprise! Turns out I actually tested as almost-autistic AND ADHD when I was really young but my mother never saw it fit to let me know!

Category: Tags: asked December 24, 2014

2 Answers

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The traits you described are symptoms of autism, specifically Asperger's syndrome, but I wouldn't say that you definitely have autism without a diagnosis. It's common for people with any type of autism to have some sort of sensory issue. They san be hypersensitive, like my brother, meaning they are less sensitive to the the five senses and may like lots of pressure, big hugs, etc. Being hypersensitive means you are overly sensitive to these things, meaning you hear things louder than others, you don't like hugs, even to the point of not liking the feeling of clothes.There is a whole autism spectrum, as you may know. It ranges from lowly functioning to highly functioning. Lowly functioning means that your autism delays you from learning things at the appropriate age. Highly functioning is where the person may excel in academics, is skilled with something, etc. while lacking in social or emotional skills. This is where Asperger's comes in.Having Asperger's means that you have no natural sense of empathy, no natural sense of social cues (not knowing how to react in social situations, etc.), taking things literally. They must learn how to empathize and learn when it is appropriate to say certain things around people. It is common for people with Asperger's to not do very well in school even though they are very intelligent. They also often find a skill or hobby that they learn as much as they can about it. It's sort of like a "niche" for them.Another thing that is common for people with autism is having lots of allergies (my brother is allergic to milk, gluten, eggs, soy, peanuts, and tree nuts)/ a dietary trigger (my brother gets hyper whenever he has red food coloring).Now, before you start freaking out, there is NOTHING wrong with having autism. You shouldn't have to accommodate for others because others should understand and accommodate for you. I have many friends with autism/Asperger's and they are very successful, caring people. While your mother may be saying you may have autism, that does not allow her to change you at all. I cannot express how much it means to me that people with autism are treated fairly because it isn't their fault that they struggle in this way.If you are still confused about what having autism or Asperger's is, or if you may have it, you really should talk to a professional about it. If you're scared of approaching someone about it, I recommend the book "Look Me In the Eye" by John Elder Robinson. Also, you can talk to me about it, since I have a lot of experience living with my autistic brother.
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If you really want to know for sure, I suggest checking with a doctor. It may seem crazy but having your questions answered by a licensed professional helps.
If you want my opinion though, I don't think so. Autism is diagnosed during infancy and every person who has it (however mild or severe it is) share the same physical characteristics; this will depend on the severity of your diagnosis. Also, autistic patients have certain deficits in terms of speech and language. You don't seem to have that since your sentences are very clear and well-written. They lack certain social skills and have certain sensitivity to textures. When it comes to the latter, you said you didn't like being hugged. This may be psychological in basis. I know people who like being hugged by significant others like their best friend or boyfriend but not their family. You're more likely to be an introvert. Takes one to know one.

If you're still ill at ease, have yourself checked by the doctor. Bring medical records and your mother too so she can ask her own questions. Seeing signs and symptoms of autism (or any other disorder, for that matter) on the internet is ill-advised because everyone is bound to see themselves fit in the category. I have tried. Hit me up if you're still concerned about it! :)