am I a sickminded person if I daydream about getting hurt?

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Ever since I can remember, I have daydreamed about getting seriously hurt and someone coming to save me from death,usually by some madeup friends or family (who are all male). I usually keep replaying over and over how they react, seeing them in pain because I am in pain. When I was younger, maybe 10, it was based as being a soldier being shot in combat and my friends coming to save me (i knaow im sick and twisted … no disrespect to the corps. They sacrafice everything for us and they are brave, brave souls. I just didnt know any other way of daydreaming …) … but then it sort of morphed into sort of being a fantasy hero getting wounded and such. I dont know why I find joy in this and I feel im daydreaming more and more about it. The thing is, I dont want to stop. If im feeling sad or stressed it helps me to release but it also captures me in a trap.

Again ive had this since I can remember, and the only thing I can link this to is being run over by a lawnmower when I was 4, and being taken to the hospital … I dont know if I had this before then, though. The daydreaming really kicked off when one of my family died. As soon as my father died the daydreaming spiked and I also stopped eating, and started having health problems. Ive stopped for a while but now it is coming back in full force … I cant really talk to my mum and her boyfriend because they dont understand at all. Ive already tried going to them.

I have never tried harming myself fatally and when I get hurt in real life and people give me attention, I tell them to stop because I dont much enjoy that much attention, and I dont want to seem weak and be have lower status in the pack, basically. Id really appreciate it if someone could enlighten this dark path that im walking … im scared that ill die with my life wasted in daydreaming.

Thank you for helping me with this.

Category: Tags: asked March 20, 2015

3 Answers

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No, you are not sick for thinking about other people getting hurt. Everyone does it. Your thoughts are not crimes. Thinking about something is not wrong. Your actions are what matter.
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There is nothing wrong with it, we daydream and think most of our time, and about daydreaming being hurt or a hero, is very common as well (although of course, your friends won't come to you telling you what they just daydreamt, just like you don't do it with them). It becomes bad when daydreaming reflects on real life, but I don't think it's your case. Sometimes it's ok, daydreaming is our most creative way to skip our momentary responsabilities, but after, back to work! :)
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I'll echo the previous commenters in saying that there's nothing wrong with your daydreams. If they bring you pleasure, go ahead--as long as you aren't acting on them! If you're still concerned, you could consider going on the "venting" chat and, after explaining that you're worried if your daydreams are healthy, ask if your listener would be willing to share their own "depraved" daydreams. We humans can get sort of weird in the comfort of our own minds ;)