Soooooo… Here’s the beginning. It was all a few weeks ago when I first cut. I only told two people. Well I’ve had some issues now. Almost everyday I have a pencil scraping against my skin. There’s a line. And then yesterday I saw a hanger that didn’t have the little hook thing and it was metal. I scraped my wrist. A lot. More than I should have. There,a,few marks. Oh yea I also used my ring on my wrist too. My mother noticed today. I just told her I scratched my self in my sleep. She asked about the pencil thing too. Luckly I drew green marker over it and said “oh I got bored in math and drew on myself” witch isn’t entirely not true. I did do it in math. Yes I was bored but that’s not the reason I did it. I now have two little flat hair bands covering them. And a rubber band on the other wrist for purposes I think you can figure out. For,some reason I want help to try and make everyone NOT notice. I want them to care but I don’t want them to think about me because that would just be a waste of time. I’m a waste of space. And that’s all I will ever be.
Also recently I have absolutely no love life. Whatsoever. I feel like not even my own mother loves me (which is probably true) my crush that everyone thought likes me, ripped my heart out. The period after that was choir which I have to put a lot of emotion into especially lovey dovey songs which we were doing at the time. Our class wasn’t showing a lot of emotions So he said this. “You know that one person or thing that you just can’t live without? That’s your seed, your anchor. Think of that person or thing when you sing this song. I almost started balling my eyes out. It took everything I had in me, not to cry.