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    mariko posted an update 1 day, 19 hours ago

    Going to sleep , or at least try. I have the day off tomorrow so hopefully will go well. I want to spend time with my mother, to read, to start my studies for my tests.. alot of stuff. So goodnight guys, hope you are all ok and having a lovely day/night.

    • Hope you get a good rest and have a fabulous day tomorrow @marikofujimoto, I’m sure you will have a great time with your mother and work hard on your studies, do relax when you need too as well Mariko, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent sweetie, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

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    mariko posted an update 1 day, 20 hours ago

    Also has been raining all day here and I’m so happy. Love the sound of the rain, specially when I’m in bed. Makes me feel less lonely and relaxes me

    • That’s nice to hear @marikofujimoto, personally I listen to the sound of a bath running or bacon being made on YouTube, if you search ASMR on YouTube, it’s so relaxing, hope you are having a fantastic day sweetie, I don’t want to see you feeling lonely Mariko, surround yourself with the things that bring you hope and always be the beautiful,…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 1 day, 20 hours ago

    So I just started today a treatment , I’ll have to do it for 3 months. I’m happy that is just a suplement , basically is giving my body things I need to battle infections. I took my first pill today and I felt ok. Always a bit paranoid of taking pills but so far so good

    • Hope the treatment helps you and makes you feel better @marikofujimoto, I want to see you healthy and happy sweetie, do take care of yourself Mariko physically, emotionally and mentally hun, stay positive and know you will be OK, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

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    mariko posted an update 3 days, 1 hour ago

    How do you deal with anxiety/panick attacks?
    I’ve been the past 3 days with so much anxiety and today I had a massive panick attack. 3 hours passed and I’m still anxious. I’m doing the best I can to not take an anxiety pill but is being terrifying…

    • Try to calm yourself, take deep breathes and think positively @marikofujimoto, find activities to do that will make you feel upbeat and happy sweetie, don’t let bad thoughts get you down Mariko, look after yourself and relax as much as you can, you will be OK hun, inbox me anytime if you want to chat, vent or you need a distraction Mariko, stay…[Read more]

    • try to think of things you like, music, friends, other things that make you comfortable. i often find this helps me when im nervous or anxious about something.

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    mariko posted an update 3 days, 7 hours ago

    I never understood people who post huge paragraphs on their partner’s profile saying how much they love them. Don’t get me wrong is lovely to see people love each other, but did that person really needed to post an entire paragraph of 15 lines in public? Why do people nowdays need the validation of the internet so desperatly? I will never…[Read more]

    • I guess the thing is – does it matter? I dislike it as well, attempting to get some validation from other people that shouldn’t even matter to your relationship seems slightly odd to me, but it is their choice. I find the easiest way is to just ignore them or remove them so you don’t see it again. No point in getting worked up over it at all,…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 3 days, 20 hours ago

    Also let’s talk about book prices … book prices for university are RIDICULOUS. 50 euros for each one??? I guess those books will be my christmas presents x)

    • Hope you manage to find books that are a good price and not too expensive @marikofujimoto, do look online, at local bookshops and at your local library sweetie, I’m sure everything will be OK Mariko, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

    • in the US they cost about 200 USD lol

    • @invincible 200??? Now explains why americans always have student loans , that’s actually stealing from people! People should try to share their books maybe online cause that’s really expensive :/

    • @oliver thank you oli. The library of my university is the only one that has them and there’s a list of 50 students waiting to rent it, so I’m still looking online

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    mariko posted an update 3 days, 20 hours ago

    I’m doing my very best so I can have good grades this year to get a scholarship next year. If I succeed will allow me to pay for university AND to get my driving licence.
    I’ve always been a good student but now I need to be briliant.
    Wish me the best..

    • Do work as hard as you can and I’m sure no matter what happens, you will be successful @marikofujimoto, keep being the wonderful student and amazing human-being that you are sweetie, I wish you all the best going forward into the future, I’m sure it will be so bright for you Mariko, remember to always be proud of your achievements hun for you will…[Read more]

    • You can do it, no doubt! Good luck♥

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    mariko posted an update 6 days, 19 hours ago

    I’m just having a massive breakdown cause I never felt so alone in 22 years of my life. I can barely breathe right now, my head feels like is about to explode, I can’t stop crying, my chest hurts so badly and my anxiety is blowing up the roof. I think I’m not made for people. In fact, I’m just more and more sure about it. I don’t fit it. At…[Read more]

    • Please don’t let anxiety, depression and sadness get you down @marikofujimoto, I know how you feel sweetie, being an introvert and shy myself, it can be hard to talk with and socialise with people, you are a fighter Mariko who will overcome all her battles, try your best to go out into the world and not let the isolation break you, I care about…[Read more]

    • everything will be ok, @marikofujimoto… it may be a time of challenge but things will get better. This moment is the way it is because you have the power to change it whether you realize it or not. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you’ll make it through. There are people out there that realize and appreciate you just the way you are and know…[Read more]

    • @spectrolite7 , @oliver , you guys are the best. Thank you so much for the lovely words full of warmth and love and even advice! Feels amazing to know someone still cares, to know when I struggle you guys are around.
      Again, thank you so much guys. Hope you are having a lovely day cause you sure deserve it :)

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    mariko posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    All I want is a conversation. A honest, open minded, long conversation. Aka 1 real friend.

    • I don’t want to see you feeling alone or lonely @marikofujimoto, so many people love and care about you sweetie, I do and so does the BT community, you are a friend to so many of us here Mariko, you can always talk to me about absolutely anything Mariko, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent hun, you will be OK, stay strong :) <3 (hugs)

    • don’t know if you still play league, but if you use discord hit me up i’m always down for a conversation if i’m not busy or at work :)

    • @yamoros12 I do actually. Remember me of your ING and your name on discord pls? Thanks :)

    • @oliver thank you for the support Oli. Just has been incredibly hard lately

    • @marikofujimoto it’s dearestchelly#8486 on discord, but im on oceanic server for league though

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    Oli and Profile picture of AllisonAllison are now friends 1 week, 3 days ago

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    Oli posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    The past couple of days have been difficult for me, on a personal note, my sadness is still with me but I’m trying to stay positive and fight it as best I can, I recently lost a dear friend to suicide and I’m feeling guilty for not being able to prevent or stop it, I wish I could go back in time and stop my friend from harming themselves, I just…[Read more]

    Mood : Guilty
    • @oliver you couldn’t have done anything Oli. You helped that person as much as you could , that decision was made from that person, not your fault. And I’m sending you much love, so sorry for losing your friend. Wish I could give you a huge hug.
      Also thank you for the lovely message, I hope everyone keeps this message close to their minds and…[Read more]

    • @Oliver
      I’m sorry for your loss, Oli. I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through, and I know it’s easier said than done, but you can’t blame yourself. Knowing who you are, I’m sure you did all you could have to help and be there for them.
      My thoughts are with you, buddy. <3

    • I’m so sorry for your loss! ♥ You are such a kind soul.

    • I’m so sorry, no one should have to suffer through the loss of a suicide. Stay strong, okay? If there’s anything I know, it’s that you’re an amazing and supportive friend. Every time I get on BT you post a supportive and kind message. If you ever need anything, I’m always here. You can do anything.

    • I am sorry to hear that Oli, please do not feel guilty. I think you are a wonderful person who touches so many people with your empathy and compassion. Sometimes, we can help a person, but it is up to them to take the right steps forward. It is awful, but sometimes it is not up to us, and you cannot blame yourself for someone’s decision. You…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Since I can remember I’ve always tried to help people cause I believe everyone needs a listener and also some advice (if they ask for it) . However, when I need someone that I can call friend, I find myself alone once again. 22 years and I never felt so out of this world. Maybe my life will really be just books and no human interaction. Where is…[Read more]

    • Oli replied 2 weeks ago

      I don’t want to see you feeling alone @marikofujimoto, you are such a lovely, compassionate, kind and amazing soul Mariko who deserves to be surrounded by all the things that bring her hope, happiness and joy, please know I’ll always be here for you hun and so will many others, the BT community cares about you and so do I, your friendship and…[Read more]

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    Oli and Profile picture of crazylulucrazylulu are now friends 2 weeks, 1 day ago

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    mariko posted an update 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    If I wasn’t so depressed , anxious and busy with classes, I would attempt to get a job to get out of this house as fast as I can.
    I miss being myself, that girl that was super positive, creative, happy. Because I have a family that get angry at the minor thing I say, that don’t even try to understand specially when I’m nice, and to help…[Read more]

    • I don’t want to see you feeling sad, upset or down @marikofujimoto, I want to see you smiling and making each day as positive as you can sweetie, shine and know creativity and happiness will come into your life hun, your family should give you all the support and encouragement in the world Mariko, surround yourself with compassion, brightness and…[Read more]

    • @marikofujimoto you’re special, you’re worth respect, love and compassion, Any judgement on you is a judgement on themselves. Don’t take them seriously, you can enjoy life. They’re the one’s who have lost their way. Take each day easily, cherish every moment, this moment right now can be taken, especially by all the negative experiences that…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Aside of that hope everyone is having a good day/night

    • Hope you had a good day @marikofujimoto, smile and always be the incredible, kind and lovely angel that you are Mariko, remember you are beautiful and perfect sweetie, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

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    mariko posted an update 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Whateaver you do, never compare siblings. Is hurtfull.

    • Indeed @marikofujimoto, we all deserve to be treated equally with love, care and respect sweetie, I don’t want to see anyone being mean to you or comparing you to others, you are beautiful and special Mariko, what’s on your mind hun, I want to see you smiling and feeling fabulous, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Another meltdown yesterday and a stop to the hospital. Too much on me lately.
    And to help today my sister is having the worst attitude ever. Why? Stuff was going so well…

    • I don’t want to see you feeling down or upset @marikofujimoto, you are such a beautiful, special and kind angel who deserves to have a smile on her face sweetie, hold your head up high Mariko and don’t let anything or anyone bring you down, your sister should treat you with love and respect, remember so many people on BT care about you and so do…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 1 month ago

    The day didn’t go bad, actually was pretty good. Let’s see how tomorrow will be. Goodnight everyone

    • Oli replied 1 month ago

      It’s wonderful to see that you had a wonderful day @marikofujimoto, sleep well and get a good rest sweetie, I’m sure tomorrow will be fantastic Mariko, stay positive and keep going, you can do it, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

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    mariko posted an update 1 month ago

    First latin class tomorrow. Will be a bit later (at 10 am) , for some reason the teacher will be busy before, meaning only 1 hour of class. But still nervous af. Wish me luck…

    • Oli replied 1 month ago

      You’ll do great in your Latin class @marikofujimoto, work as hard as you can, stay positive and know you will be successful sweetie, smile and keep going forward, you can do it, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

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    mariko posted an update 1 month ago

    Talking to my bf till 2 am ,crying and etc, I realised my past still hunts me ALOT. I had 20 years of bullying pretty much ( I was already bullied at 3 years old basically) , super abusive relationships, bullied for looks and ironically for having good grades… and I guess I grew cold and started to hate people. So is really hard now to feel…[Read more]

    • Oli replied 1 month ago

      You are such a beautiful, kind and lovely angel who deserves happiness and all the best that life has to offer @marikofujimoto, don’t let your past get you down or stand in your way sweetie, I was bullied in high school and from personal experience, I know how bad the effects of bullying can be, I don’t want to see you feeling sad or upset because…[Read more]

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