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    PaperKites21 posted an update 9 months, 1 week ago

    I have been dating this guy, Charles for 4 months. So far, it’s been great, i am falling in love with him and I do care about him.. There is a 20 year age difference, I am 23 and he is 47.. that’s not an issue for either of us, but there are some complications.. This past Sunday night was a bit upsetting for me, I went over to his house like i always do on sunday night. When i walked in, he wasn’t there.. Which was ok because i figured he was at his brothers house, so I went into his bedroom to relax (i had just got work) He had porn playing on his tv.. I really don’t mind it when he watches it, but only if im not there.. he knew i was coming over- i don’t know why he would do that.. I turned it off and went on about my night. Then about 20 mins, he walks in the door and he is wasted.. he is stumbling all over and he has no clue what was on his tv.. i told him i didn’t want to see that, he slurs ”i’m sorry, im a piece of shit” then he just starts crying, i am so confused at this point. A man i love has been heavily drinking, showing porn on his tv (not even watching it) and crying.. I don’t even know what i am suppose to feel.. I’m a bit weired out by it all. I told him how i felt but i don’t think he is going do anything about it.

    I am not looking for advice but ill take it if you got any..

    • I would be there for him and try to help as much as you can @paperkites21, hopefully with your support and love, he will overcome his struggles and the relationship will become stronger, things will work out for both of you, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • @paperkites21 Sounds like a handful, I hope it doesn’t become a pattern where when you discuss some problem it turns into a shame spiral. Maybe you can consider taking a stand and making it clear that you will cancel your plans together if he shows up in such a state to your times together.

    • It sounds all good. You went into this with your eyes open. He is 47 and has a lot of baggage, especially since he was ”available” at his age. Drunkenness is just a way of dealing with his baggage, which is evident by his crying and porn (probably addicted). His relationship with you may have cost him another relationship, but he made choices as you have. Just accept him for what and who he is. He isn’t 23, and you knew that going in. He has to deal with a lot of other things, including mid life crisis and stuff. Does he have kids? He has a lot of relational stuff that probably makes his life confusing. It is what it is. Good luck.

    • Thank you so much! You were very helpful.. thanks for not judging. You’re the best!