I would be there for him and try to help as much as you can @paperkites21, hopefully with your support and love, he will overcome his struggles and the relationship will become stronger, things will work out for both of you, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, you are never alone (hugs)
@paperkites21 Sounds like a handful, I hope it doesn’t become a pattern where when you discuss some problem it turns into a shame spiral. Maybe you can consider taking a stand and making it clear that you will cancel your plans together if he shows up in such a state to your times together.
It sounds all good. You went into this with your eyes open. He is 47 and has a lot of baggage, especially since he was ”available” at his age. Drunkenness is just a way of dealing with his baggage, which is evident by his crying and porn (probably addicted). His relationship with you may have cost him another relationship, but he made choices as you have. Just accept him for what and who he is. He isn’t 23, and you knew that going in. He has to deal with a lot of other things, including mid life crisis and stuff. Does he have kids? He has a lot of relational stuff that probably makes his life confusing. It is what it is. Good luck.
Thank you so much! You were very helpful.. thanks for not judging. You’re the best!