A painless/peaceful death is my one dream. I don't see myself as a good person and I don't put effort into relationships, work and myself so its kind of a pointless, if not toxic, living. Still, I hope to be a non-judgemental listener here and be open to what people say. 2 years ago on this site, I was a douche on the forum, the kind that went "drink more water and avoid drugs" and "things will get better, i know it". I'd really hate it if anyone said that to me now.