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    mariko posted an update 2 days ago

    To anyone that thinks depression and anxiety have an on/off switch, fuck you. Actually fuck you.
    Don’t talk to me, don’t even show up in front of me.
    As someone who struggles with this since very young, as someone who has been on meds and as someone who has a therapist, I’ll will say fuck you. Is not a matter of “oh you can be happy if you…[Read more]

    • Focus on making yourself feel happier and positive emotionally and mentally @marikofujimoto, others really should give you advice that will truly helps you and makes you feel listened too, acknowledged and heard Mariko, anyone who judges you or is ignorant of mental health and the struggles you go through isn’t worth it sweetie, please don’t give…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 5 days, 18 hours ago

    Hate complaining, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to feel happy. Everything is so dark.
    Doesn’t help I live in this stupid little pathetic town, where everyone is cruel, judgmental, that are always gossiping, and the cherry on top of the cake is that I’m terrified and angry I’ll see my abusive ex and his family.
    I try to…[Read more]

    Mood : Depressed
    • I don’t want to see you feeling upset, down or sad @marikofujimoto, I want to see you positive and upbeat Mariko, I’ve been worried about you sweetie, you are such a beautiful, kind, compassionate and incredible angel who deserves all the happiness and joy that life has to offer, someone like you who is so special doesn’t deserve to be abused…[Read more]

    • Hi Mariko,
      I am sorry to hear that you’re going through such a rough time right now. Are you currently seeing anyone, a psychologist, about the issue? What kind of coping strategy are you utilizing presently? I am sorry that I am not more of a help right now. If you want to talk more in-depth about the situation, I am more than willing to listen…[Read more]

    • I am here for you! I am so sorry you are going through this ♥♥ I send you my love. You can get through this♥

    • @tomorrow I do have a therapist yes. I’ve been on therapy since January of this year.
      Is helpful but is only 1h a week so doesn’t even cover 5% of my problems.
      Is the only thing I can have right now, is the only free resources from the state.

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    Oli posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    I can’t do this anymore…why bother?, it’s better to give up on life because things will forever be dark, bleak, depressing, sad and hopeless, seriously if death came for me, I would be relieved and at peace because this stupid ‘life’ and existence holds no joy, happiness or positivity for Oli, all I have is loneliness and emotional pain, I’m so…[Read more]

    Mood : Depressed
    • @oliver you’re a strong and amazing person, don’t give up! So far you’ve survived 100% of your bad days and it shows how strong and incredible you are! Don’t live these days alone, seek help from friends and family, if you need – seek professional help.
      Try to explore yourself and find new hobbies. Reading, hiking, music. The BT community…[Read more]

    • oli nooo dont ever think of that you are a great person! pm me! lets talk :(

    • You’re messages have helped me more than you know Oli. I agree with Gleb though, you need to get offline man. I see you commenting beautiful things on everyone’s walls and trying so hard to make people feel worth something. It’s time to take your own advice. Get up and get out! Spoil yourself a little, put that energy into you, be happy!

      I…[Read more]

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    Oli posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Everything is just so bleak, depressing and sad for me and always will be, my dreams and goals will never come true, depression and loneliness are my only friends, I want to give up and not bother anymore, I’m just so sick of everything, I have no purpose, just a stupid, moronic existence, I am my own worst enemy but I have always hated myself,…[Read more]

    Mood : Depressed
    • This is not true. You are NOT stupid. I’m sure there are positive things around you but you can’t see them cause you are in your “broken shell”, maybe its better that it broke so you could see the world from other view and trust me it better out there. Your dreams and goals WILL come true as long as you keep believing in them and stop giving…[Read more]

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    Oli and Profile picture of MicaMica are now friends 2 weeks ago

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    Oli and Profile picture of Chelsea.Phillips1991Chelsea.Phillips1991 are now friends 2 weeks ago

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    Oli and Profile picture of sgrd267sgrd267 are now friends 2 weeks, 1 day ago

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    Oli and Profile picture of AndjelaAndjela are now friends 2 weeks, 6 days ago

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    mariko posted an update 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    I want to die. But then i don’t. I do. I don’t. Back and forth.

    • Please don’t think like that @marikofujimoto, you are such a beautiful, special and lovely angel who deserves all the happiness in the world sweetie, don’t let life’s struggles get you down Mariko, death will not solve anything hun, I want to see you truly happy and living a life where you feel content, positive and fulfilled, so many fantastic…[Read more]

    • I feel… I am here for you 100% if you never need to rant, get advice or talk to someone ♥ serious

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    Oli and Profile picture of NickelzzNickelzz are now friends 1 month ago

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    Oli posted an update 1 month ago

    Why do I even bother, nothing good will ever happen to me, I will never achieve my goals or dreams, seriously I’m so pathetic and stupid, I’m an introverted, shy, isolated and withdrawn reclusive loner who can’t make friends, so finding love with someone is completely out of the question, honestly I would be terrible boyfriend material for any…[Read more]

    Mood : Depressed
    • Obviously your bit cause ur a social butterfly on this site and have been since I joined back in 2013. Your perception is from inside the bubble we all see from the outside. Ur very ambitious and articulate. U have many friends. I’m sorry if ny criticism hurt u but I lashed out and u were first person on radar. Trust bro that I go through shit…[Read more]

    • It saddens me to read this. You are the one person who has always been active on BT for years. You give good advice, you care for everybody. But you can’t live your life here. Listen to me Oli, I mean this in the nicest possible way; Get off the fucking computer and live your damn life. What’s the point of helping people if you can’t help…[Read more]

    • hold on dude! hope me not replying to your post 2 years ago never bothered you, cause i log on this site once in a blue moon. you seem like a nice and genuine dude, and you’re not hideous. you’re not brad pitt either, but you’re definitely not ugly! dont worry about getting a girl either, cause that’ll just make things worse.just focus on the…[Read more]

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    Oli posted an update 1 month ago

    I honestly do have goals and dreams in life, I just know I’ll never achieve them, honestly what I would love to happen to me is:
    1. Be rid of depression/loneliness
    2. Be truly happy without having to fake it
    3. Make friends
    4. Fall in love
    But deep down, I know those 3 things will never happen to someone like me, I’m forever doomed to be a…[Read more]

    Mood : Depressed
    • they will happen Oli I have faith. You are too great of a person for it not to happen to!

    • Things will get better, Oli. You can overcome your struggles, and make your dreams a reality. I believe in you. (hugs)

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    mariko posted an update 1 month ago

    because I’m turning 23 today x)

    • Ken replied 1 month ago

      Happy birthday!! :3

    • Oli replied 1 month ago

      Happy Birthday, beautiful angel @marikofujimoto, do have a wonderful day filled with happiness sweetie, hope you are doing OK hun, smile and keep being the fantastic person that you are Mariko, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) <3 (hugs)

    • Happy birthday! I love that song!

    • wow i was just listening to this a few hours ago while getting ready lol!

      happy birthday !!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥

    • Happy bday!!! hope youre having a good one!!

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    mariko posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Where do you turn when you become desperate?…
    Don’t know if I should drink, if I should cry or scratch my skin to the point it relieves some pain away…

    • Please don’t let sadness, depression and pain get you down @marikofujimoto, I know how you feel sweetie, it may be hard to see through all the darkness, but you will make it through this and so many more brighter, happier and positive days are ahead for you Mariko, everything will be OK, you are a survivor who deserves all the best out of life,…[Read more]

    • I’m here if you need someone to talk to, Mariko. Please don’t hurt yourself. It can be difficult to be and remain optimistic during dark periods, but it is not impossible. You are an amazing and strong person, and you can get through this. I believe in you.

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    Oli and Profile picture of CarolineCaroline are now friends 1 month, 1 week ago

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    mariko posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Second panic attack since therapy started and happened in the hospital last night.
    Was a very hard night.
    Lately has been so hard, so much on my shoulders.
    I’ve been working very hard to be positive but family is always upset, so much crap to study, then I have my birthday and my family won’t celebrate it neither do I have a present.
    I’m just…[Read more]

    • Please keep fighting and never give up @marikofujimoto, you will beat all your struggles and come out so much stronger sweetie, I want to see you truly smiling and making each day lovely Mariko, try to stay upbeat and positive Mariko, you can do it, do have a happy birthday and keep going Mariko, everything will be OK, I believe in you, please…[Read more]

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    Oli and Profile picture of mini_beethovenmini_beethoven are now friends 1 month, 1 week ago

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    mariko posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Tired of feeding my own stupidity and dreams that won’t and shouldn’t become true.
    If I was harsher with people maybe I would get genuine respect and love back.

    Mood : Cold
    • Do follow your dreams and don’t let anything or anyone stand in your way @marikofujimoto, always be the kind, compassionate and beautiful angel that you are Mariko, I want to see you being treated with love, care, respect and dignity hun, you are such a special person who great things will happen too, believe in yourself and keep going forward…[Read more]

    • Always follow your dreams and never give up, you deserve love and respect for who you are, don’t change that. :) Celebrate your own uniqueness! Always

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    Oli posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    I just don’t know anymore….I can’t keep this up forever but things are just so dark, hopeless and sad, death seems like such a better option or disappearing forever, I don’t have a life or future, I just exist and survive which is pretty pathetic and stupid, why was I born?, I want to give up and not care or bother anymore because I’m so lost,…[Read more]

    Mood : Depressed
    • Hide honestly and obviously. I have nothing against whatever sexuality anyone is but I joined in 2013 and stop using it in 2 years ago. I just now came back and it’s like u haven’t missed a beat. Everything posted u comment on and it all sounds the same. I know u mean well brother but u wearing out ur own product. Idk how old u r but branch out…[Read more]

    • Hide honestly and obviously. I have nothing against whatever sexuality anyone is but I joined in 2013 and stop using it in 2 years ago. I just now came back and it’s like u haven’t missed a beat. Everything posted u comment on and it all sounds the same. I know u mean well brother but u wearing out ur own product. Idk how old u r but branch out…[Read more]

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    mariko posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Weeks and weeks of therapy, self evaluation, alot of hard work, and I still feel like shit. The only thing I’m good at is being a student. That’s it. I’m not creative, although I like writing, I’m not girly, hell I don’t even wear makeup, I’m shitty at the games I play and I’m the worst person ever to socialise with people.
    I can see myself…[Read more]

    Mood : Cold
    • Please don’t let sadness, pain and struggles get you down @marikofujimoto, you are such a beautiful, lovely and special angel who truly deserves all the happiness in the world sweetie, don’t let trauma define you Mariko, you are so much stronger inside and out hun, everything will be OK, you will win all your battles Mariko, so many brilliant…[Read more]

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