- Mood : Confused
@fancifranci I think it’s fine to pay the debt in another way, maybe not now but in the future you’ll have another chance to make it up to her about the free childcare. Maybe you’ll move there in a few years. If you take the sense of owing her out of the situation, what do you want to do? What’s in Texas for your career and your child, and your partner?
First, I’m really glad that you got away from that bad relationship and happy you found someone (: I think you have a lot of stuff you’re going through and I want to say that if you’re happy with the person you’re seeing then you should do what you want to do and not what she wants you to do. In the end we only have the time we have on this earth so you should spend that time being happy (: best of luck and warm wishes
I’m supposed to pay her $6K for the childcare. I’m starting a job this upcoming week and am going to pay her $150 a month until I’ve paid it. Even with this though she still wants me to come to Texas. I really have no desire to live there. I have an abusive father that lives there and 2 brothers. One of them I do not have a relationship with anymore. I love my other brother but he prefers his space. My career could be potentially better there as a nurse but I don’t know if my happiness will increase. My boyfriend is graduating with his associates and is going straight to NAU to become a therapist. He will get his bachelor’s and master’s there. So he’s pretty set on staying here.
I would do what makes you, your son and your family happy in life @fancifranci, hopefully you can talk to your mother and come to an agreement about living arrangements, move to an area that will benefit you, make your child feel good and your relationship stronger, I’m sure you will make the right choices going forward, hope everything works out Franci, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, you are never alone (hugs)
Alright, so dont take this the wrong way, but if you say your mother is your ”enabler,” then that is a serious issue you and you shouldnt be around it. But, first of all, congratulations on everything that you have overcome, and congratulations on your accomplishments and on meeting someone who you feel is good for you. Every single relationship has problems, and every individual comes with their own set of issues, so it is important to be open minded and accepting, especially knowing that that person is trying their best. You and your boyfriend seem to have many things in common which i think will help both of you succeed. Its like having a gym buddy who is in the same shape as you, its healthy motivation to do better and grow together. Your mother seems scared to let you go, for whatever reason. Maybe she is lonely, or maybe she is scared that you will get hurt again, so try and speak with her and try to make her understand. To be honest, i think you should continue dating your boyfriend for longer before you involve your child and move in with him. If you met him towards the end of the spring semester. then that means you havent even known this man for more than 5 or 6 months. That is a very short amount of time to devote and change your life for a person. You still need more time to get to know him. Mothers oftentimes have a sort of intuition about the people you decide to be around. Ask your mother what it is that she doesnt like about him, and hear her out. At the end of the day, that reason she gives you will let you know if her worries are justifyable or not. You are very young, and you have a lot of time to meet someone amazing. Make sure he is the one before you make such a drastic change in the lives of you, your child, and your mother.