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    HighLows posted an update 5 months ago

    a little less than a year ago I withdrew fro my first semester of college after ending an abusive relationship. I was going to my dream school, a prestigious engineering institute. I coasted through high school and managed to get accepted without really trying. Now I’m home, working a part time job I hate, and going part time to a state school that I hate. all of my friends are either busy with school or have moved elsewhere in the country. The one good thing I can say about any of this is that I met the girl of my dreams, we share so many interests, we get along perfectly and want to study the same thing in school, she is a scholar and a socialite, she was a cheerleader in high school, she was on the committee for national honors society, she worked her ass of and got straight As. I feel like a loser, my friends and my girlfriend are all off at school having a great time, and I’m just sitting here with virtually nothing to do but things that I hate. I’m jealous of my girlfriend because she has what I want, I’m jealous because she goes to a school that’s mostly guys and most of her friends are guys. Shes the only social interaction I have, I love her so much, but I feel like such a loser and it makes me feel so insecure. Shes really the only thing that has motivated me, I started working out and eating healthy because I wanted to look better for her, I started playing the violin and I’m going to play our favorite song for her on our anniversary as a surprise. I just feel like a drag on everyone around me. I want to get a life, I want it so badly, but every time I get a glimmer of motivation to do something about it, its gone before I can get anything done. I want to wake up in the morning with some sense of purpose, I want to be something she can be proud of, but I cant find the motivation to do anything about it.

    Mood : Frustrated
    • Oli replied 5 months ago

      Do work as hard as you can and keep making yourself better @ewintjen, I’m sure your girlfriend will love you no matter what you choose to do in life, make your relationship stronger as each day passes and keep going forward, also re-connect with friends too if you can, you will do amazing things and be successful, remember to surround yourself with positivity and never give up, find things that bring you hope and give you a sense of purpose and confidence, you can do it, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • @ewentjen That’s a tough one.. maybe if you were in some kind of a new setting or home life, it could help. Not sure what your living situation is now, but a change of place can give someone a fresh start, even if it’s only a 10 minute drive away. You can absolutely get on top of things though, the hardest part is getting the ball rolling.

    • @ewintjen What do you plan to do about college? Will you go back?