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    Hayden posted an update 8 months, 1 week ago

    I can’t tell if I’m being taken advantage of or not, but it’s so damn hard for me to say no right now.

    Mood : Crushed
    • I don’t want to see you upset or being taken advantage of @devilndisguise, you are such a compassionate and lovely human-being Hayden who deserves to be loved and cared for, surround yourself with positivity, brightness and hope Hayden, know you are special and good things will happen to you, I’m always here if you need to talk Hayden, feel free…[Read more]

    • @devilndisguise just remember you have your own value as a human being and as an individual, you can say no. If you love yourself you’ll realise it isn’t fair being taken advantage off. I hope things can become a bit easier for you and you can overcome this. Wish you the best of luck and if you ever need help I’m here

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    Hayden posted an update 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    Oh, I feel like I’m getting myself into trouble.

    Mood : Excited
    • I’m sure things will be OK @devilndisguise, do stay upbeat Hayden, hopefully you are not in trouble, hold your head up high and know everything will turn out great, I want the best for you, my awesome friend Hayden, I’m always here if you ever need to talk, feel free to inbox me anytime, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • If you ever need to talk, I am here.

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    Hayden posted an update 9 months, 1 week ago

    Wow.

    …It’s been a long time since I woke up to a ”Good Morning” message.

    Mood : Giddy
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    Hayden posted a new activity comment 9 months, 1 week ago

    In reply to: Prettyangel197 posted an update My sister just told me that the only reason that I go on dates with guys is to get attention, which isn’t even true. View

    You know yourself better than anybody, and whether or not that were true, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. We’re human, and sometimes we enjoy attention. So long as it isn’t to a terribly unhealthy degree, then I don’t see the problem.

    I say, go on as many dates as you’d like. Nothing serious? That’s alright. Do what makes you happy.…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted a new activity comment 9 months, 1 week ago

    In reply to: mariko posted an update After I gave up from university I wasn’t sure what I should do.. but now I know. First I’m going to get a tutor degree and then study in a professional school to be a teacher of sign […] View

    That’s awesome. I’ve always found sign language fascinating; I’m determined to learn it someday.
    It sounds like you have a good plan going for you. I’m happy to see you doing well. :)

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    Hayden posted an update 9 months, 1 week ago

    I started going a bit crazy, but no. I have control over this. I’ve let go, and I’m not going to start trying to grab hold of something that isn’t there anymore, and hasn’t been for a long time now. I don’t love or miss the individual, but rather the rare good feelings that we shared together, and that’s it.

    I’ve finally found my answers,…[Read more]

    • Do remember all the good memories you shared with this person @devilndisguise, hopefully going forward, you will still be able to remain friendly and civil with each other Hayden, spread your wings and continue to look forward to a bright future that is filled with hope, the path ahead will have ups and downs but you will overcome Hayden, believe…[Read more]

    • @devilndisguise I hope with time you start to heal. I hope that at least those good moments you spent together made you smile and happy. Focous on those things. Sometimes life seperates people for several reasons but I believe that people show up in our lives always for a reason. So that person did aswell and I’m glad that person at least gave…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted an update 9 months, 1 week ago

    After over a year, I’ve finally found out that she’s okay. And she looks happy and healthy now. And that’s all I ever wanted.

    • Keep caring about the well-being of others @devilndisguise, do remember to look after yourself too, always be the compassionate soul that you are Hayden, smile and never give up, I’m always here if you need to chat or vent, message me anytime, my inbox is always open, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • @devilndisguise I’m glad the person you cared about is ok. I hope you’re ok aswell, your happiness and well being is also very important. If you ever need my help my inbox is always open to you

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    Hayden changed their profile picture 9 months, 2 weeks ago

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    Hayden posted an update 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    ”If I could take back the moment,
    I’d let you get under my skin,
    Relent or resist,
    Seems the monster always wins.”

    • Please don’t be sad @devilndisguise, you are such a kind, awesome and wonderful person Hayden who deserves to feel incredible, remember to hold your head up high and let brightness, hope and love shine through, everything will be OK, smile and know you will win all your battles, go forward with confidence and stay brilliant, I’m always here for…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Also.
    Though I’ve been gone for awhile, I’ve never stopped thinking about this place. I know the site isn’t as active as it used to be, but I’ll never give up on it. I’ve met some really amazing people here, and I don’t want to ever turn my back on any of you.
    I’ve just been struggling since finding a job; working with people all day…[Read more]

    • It’s great to have you back @devilndisguise, please don’t feel alone or upset Hayden, I know how you feel, I’m mostly in my bedroom a lot of the time as well, you will work things out, remember to surround yourself with love, positivity and happiness, do look after yourself and stay focused on making each day as bright as you can, remember your…[Read more]

    • Hey Hayden ~ Nice to see a familiar face around, wish it was under better circumstances.
      It’s understandable to need a recharge alone. Although I know it’s frustrating when you want to reserve some of that energy for the people you care about. I don’t know. I suppose maybe the best thing you can do is just be honest with people. Explain the…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Well, hello, folks, and long-time-no-talk.

    It feels like a lot has happened in just the little over a month that I’ve been away. No, I haven’t come out yet, and I don’t have any real excuse as to why I haven’t yet, other than I’m freaking terrified.
    I know I can’t live the life of fear forever, but until I find myself in a more stable…[Read more]

    Mood : Determined
    • Remember to love yourself @devilndisguise, I’m sure you will come out at a time that suits you, embrace who you are and keep being fantastic Hayden, you’ll always have the support of everyone on this site, smile and stay wonderful, I’m always here for you :) (hugs)

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    Hayden posted an update 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    @Noah-2 I would like to thank you for the thoughtful testimonial that you wrote for me. I do my best to be there and to help others, though I do often have my down-days, no doubt.

    But that also helps when it comes to being there for people. I think that it’s important to be open about your own struggles (without making it about yourself) when…[Read more]

    • Awww that’s so lovely and sweet @devilndisguise, you are a wonderful person who deserves appreciation for all the support you give to others on Blah, keep spreading compassion Hayden and @Noah-2, I’m always here for both of you, brilliant individuals :) (hugs)

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    Hayden posted an update 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well.
    It’s officially been one whole year since I’ve spoken to her. One year since I finally broke free from those invisible chains that she held me in for so long.
    Once I escaped, I was terrified. I was kept up for nights on end, filled with the worst anxiety that I had ever felt. “How am I going to get through this?” “Will she hurt…[Read more]

    • Keep moving forward and focus on making your future bright and building healthy relationships @devilndisguise, you are such a kind person who deserves happiness and joy Hayden, remember to learn from your past and use it as motivation to make things better, you can do it buddy, I believe in you, feel free to message me anytime if you need to chat…[Read more]

    • <3

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    Hayden posted an update 1 year ago

    I hope all is going well.

    Mood : Numb
    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      I’m OK @devilndisguise, hope things are going awesomely for you Hayden, I want to see you smiling and truly living each day to the fullest, smile and keep being the fabulous person that you are, remember I’m always here if you ever need to chat about anything, keep going buddy and don’t give up :) (hugs)

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    Hayden posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    In reply to: Hayden posted an update I have never wanted to end it all so badly than I do right now. I can’t handle this fucking life anymore. It doesn’t help to think that that would be the only thing to finally make the […] View

    @SigmaSuccour I appreciate the advice.
    All I want is to put myself first for once in my life. I can alone try to help myself, sure, but when you’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts for over 5 years, unable to get help, it can get hard dealing with it on your own.
    But what it sounds like you’re saying is that I need to put others first in…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    In reply to: BlackRabbit posted an update Would you stay with someone you love but who isn’t there for you when you need them the most… View

    No. Almost a year ago, I left somebody, the love of my life, for that reason. Among many, many other reasons. It just wasn’t a healthy relationship.
    If a partner fails to be there for you, it of course isn’t the end of the world. Not everyone can be there every single time they’re needed, no matter how hard they try. But when that person…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted an update 1 year ago

    I have never wanted to end it all so badly than I do right now. I can’t handle this fucking life anymore.
    It doesn’t help to think that that would be the only thing to finally make the people around me start listening for once.

    Mood : Depressed
    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      Please don’t think like that @devilndisguise, you were put on this earth to do amazing things Hayden, I want to see you truly smiling and making each day count, surround yourself with positivity and hope, keep being the caring and special person that you are, don’t let sadness stand in your way Hayden, you will overcome and become so much more…[Read more]

    • // I can’t handle this fucking life anymore.// @devilndisguise
      > If you are willing to suicide, then you can do anything. Throw away your cellphone (or SIM), pack your bags and smuggle yourself on some boat to another city or country and start anew.
      .
      //It doesn’t help to think that that would be the only thing to finally make the people…[Read more]

    • @SigmaSuccour I appreciate the advice.
      All I want is to put myself first for once in my life. I can alone try to help myself, sure, but when you’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts for over 5 years, unable to get help, it can get hard dealing with it on your own.
      But what it sounds like you’re saying is that I need to put others first in…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted an update 1 year ago

    It’s times like this that I wish she were still with me. It’ll be exactly a year on the 28th that she’s been gone, and I’ve moved on from it. But I miss having somebody in my life who understands. I don’t care if it’s a lover or a friend; I just want that again.
    But I have this terrible habit of pushing everybody away, as well as being an…[Read more]

    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      Don’t give up on love @devilndisguise, you will meet someone amazing Hayden, a special partner is out there waiting for you, you will meet the person of your dreams, stay positive and keep going, you can do it, I’m always here if you need to chat :) (hugs)

    • // But I miss having somebody in my life who understands.// @devilndisguise
      > You ultimately fill this void by being that person to others who understands them. If you remain dependent on other people to ‘understand’ you (which no one can). Then your happiness shall and will be temporary, rest would be your miserable life.
      My suggestion? Be…[Read more]

    • I hope that you can get through the 28th and it won’t be too hard on you. Getting hurt so often can make some people push others away from fear of getting hurt again. Unfortunately that may also close off those who can introduce positive change too. I don’t know you so I of course can’t say this applies to you, but it is something I’ve seen…[Read more]

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    Hayden posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    In reply to: Keara posted an update turning in my job application tomorrow. really hoping i get called for an interview! :D View

    Hey, the best of luck to you. :)

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    Hayden posted an update 1 year ago

    I’m tired of a lot of things. Tired of her letting that stupid family back in. Tired of him always saying ”Just do it” when someone talks suicide. Tired of the fakes and the liars. And especially tired of myself for not being able to stop this battle of identity.

    Mood : Dark
    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      Don’t let anything or anyone make you feel upset @devilndisguise, you are such a lovely and amazing person who deserves all the joy, care and happiness in the world, try your best to focus on getting yourself to a better place mentally and emotionally Hayden, I want to see you making each day count, smile and remember you are fantastic, you were…[Read more]

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