• Profile picture of Destiel
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    Destiel posted an update 9 years, 9 months ago

    Okay, so…. Wow. My emotions are just… dying.
    I don’t… know what to do anymore. I need to see someone, I’m pretty sure I’m depressed, though- if that’s the case- This has been going on for a long time. Maybe I should just ignore it. I’ve been dealing for this long, right? I’ve dealt with the crying fits that have left me hollow, with nothing but pain in my heart for a whole night. I’ve dealt with the emotional panic that comes with realizing that I’m still in maybe-love with my best friend, who no longer sees me like that. I’m dealing with the fatigue of sleeping an average of 4 hours a night, and while the fact that food makes me nauseous now is a little worrying, I’m dealing. That’s all I need for now, right? I can just drag myself through the rest of this until those feelings for her go away, until this constant, never-ending torment fades…. I can deal. So for now, I’ll just forget. I’ll forget about her, about my friends, about the possibility of worrying my family… I’ll forget that there was a time when I wasn’t tired to the point of aching, I’ll forget that breakfast, and lunch, and substantial dinners are a thing. And it’ll go away, it’ll get better, if I can forget for long enough, keep myself sheltered and hidden and drained for long enough, right? Right. It has to.
    I don’t know what I’ll do otherwise.